The new me

Tiny Tims Children’s Centre or Newlife.

Photograph Quiz:

Photo no. 25 or thereabouts. You can see the stand, but where did it used to be when the track was opened???

Dear Blog,

As my old granny used to say, ‘If you’ve not got nowt to say, don’t spend ages saying it.’ I haven’t been in contact this week as I’ve been busy decorating. Oh dear… I do not have space to tell you about that!! But the last week ….

Sunday:- No more trudging for me now, Blog. I applied for 10 tickets for the Olympic 100m Final. My wife says that there is more chance of me competing in the 100m Final than there is of my getting a ticket. I didn’t think it was the appropriate time to correct her about the number I had applied for as she was in one of her moods. Usually I go and sit in the shed until it passes, but I got rather hungry in my last four night stay. As that smoothy Mr Coe doesn’t seem to have cashed my cheque I sent to him, I gave some deep thought to what my wife had said about my running in the 100m Final. With a little reflection, I concluded that she had spoken a lot of statistical sense. So next year, it is the 100m Sprint Final for me. Sod this trudging business. 9.5 seconds of eyeballs out from now on, Blog old son. EYEBALLS OUT. The training starts now. Not a metre to lose.

Monday:- I did a warm up stood next to the radiator in the changing room, then it was out onto the track. I was not very warm as the heating had been switched off on the 1^st of April. I did a few stretches. I stretched a point. I stretched my credibility. I stretched the truth. I stretched four red rubber bands dropped by the postman.

Tuesday:- I had a sauna. It was just like being back in Finland. Hot, steamy, sweat oozing from every pore, then out into the snow, naked and a jump into the freezing lake under a clear blue sky. Exhilarating. Problem   it was not Finland but Coventry. It wasn’t deep winter with snow on the ground and ice on the water. It was May in England. The naked bit was OK except I forgot the door from the sauna opened on to the high street full of Tuesday  afternoon shoppers. And everyone knows that Tuesday is pensioners’ shopping day.. Running back in doors counted as my speed training for the day.

Wednesday:- I was going to do a session of free weights but they were cemented fast to the floor. I did some isotonic exercises instead. I felt quite refreshed when I had finished.

Thursday:- Track session. The planned routine with the other sprinters was:-

6 starts plus 5*100m flat out plus 1*200m at 75% effort then jogging the bends, sprinting the straights for one mile. Unfortunately I had a false start on my first attempt at starting, so under the new IAAF ruling, I was not allowed to take any further part in the proceedings. At least I was first to the Chip Shop and as my old coach used to say ‘Any first placing is better than no first placing. It gets you into the habit of winning.’ There’s no salt and vinegar on me Blog!

Friday:- Rest Day.

Saturday:- League Race. Although I wasn’t exactly asked to be part of the 100m race squad, I went along anyway and warmed up with the two sprinters in case either of them should pull something at the last minute. I would be ready to able to fill the breach and not let the club team down. They didn’t so I couldn’t.

I must say Blog, this sprint training lark is a dead doddle. Watch out Hussle Bolt, I’m on my way.

 Colin

Ps. If you didn’t get this message, Blog, then the world really did end at 6pm today.