Photograph Quiz:
Photo number zero ‘cos there ain’t no photo, just a Quiz:-
1
11
21
1112
What is the next line in this sequence? Why did it get me a few quids? What has it to do with marathon training?
Well now Blog,
I went for a trudge this morning in the unseasonably pleasant weather. I am sure you will be most relieved to hear that the hamstring I hurt ten days ago while trying to shift a very heavy door by myself which a friend had given me to chop up to burn on my stove, is responding to my own devised rehabilitation. It usually works, and it works quickly which is a boon. Out on the trudge I got to thinking about this coaching lark in the running magazines. Like I said to you last time, I was going to get myself some of it. So, last night, dragging myself away from watching the paint, I thumbed through a few copies. Its hot stuff Blog, you really do want to get yourself some. Absolutely absorbing. And the articles are so clever with all those long words which not only can I not spell, but I cannot pronounce either!! My eye was caught by one particularly riveting article which was so full of technical jargon that it must have been written by someone who had filled both his arms up with badges and was now half way down his second leg. He was comparing past and present training sessions and techniques.
Imagine:- It is easy …..
Magazine to aged athlete. [3 mile runner] ‘Give me a track session’.
“Well, I did 3 miles run to the track from home, half a dozen strides, 10 times 44o with 220 jog then 5 times 220 with the same jog recovery, then I ran three miles back home.”
Magazine to young funded athlete. [5k track specialist] ‘Give me your last tack session’.
“It was last evening actually. By the time I had read up on all the nutritional requirements and buffed up on the physiological factors needed for such a session and prepared my energy drinks for the work out and what the post session massage essentials were going to involve and strapped on my heart rate monitor and fixed my Garmin to my wrist, it was time for the track to close for the night and my car was locked in the car park sos I had to walk home like.”
“My session was a two mile brisk walk home carrying my kit bag which was so heavy with all my gear that I had to stop every eight hundred metres [measured accurately on my Garmin] for electrolytic replacement therapy.”
Imagine:- It is easy if ….
Magazine to top two cross country exponents of 2011. ‘How often does your coach set a schedule that involves running over ploughed land?’
“Plough? You mean like where the farmer has been digging his field up with his tractor? No way, man. Our coach says we might get injured. And anyways, we will get our trainers covered in mud and our kit dirty. You gotta be joking.”
Magazine to top cross country international of forty years ago. ‘How often did your coach set a schedule that involves running over ploughed land?’
“We didn’t have coaches. Plough? Well it all depends. Doesn’t it. Do you mean on a steady cross country run or an interval session. If it’s an interval session, do you mean long or short intervals, and do mean wearing studs, spikes or boots??”
I’m really getting into this magazine lark. Try it Blog. Hows about we go on a course together, get a few badges, learn all those long words.
My other eye was caught by another particularly riveting articles which was also so full of technical jargon that it definitely had to have been written by someone who had filled both his arms up with badges and filled both his legs up with badges and was now half way to covering his sleepy blanket. He was rabbiting on about injuries – Achilles problems, tenosynovitis and metatarsal problems, you know the sort of page filler. You are quite correct Blog when you say I am not a top Harley Street Specialist – well not at the moment. But I have yet to see mentioned in all these magazine things what I consider to be the bleeding obvious causes and therefore the bleeding obvious solutions to Achilles problems, tenosynovitis and metatarsal problems. Years back, I remember having metatarsal problems that refused to go away despite extensive expensive treatment. In frustration I decided to examine the underlying mechanical process of what was, or was not, going on from a mathematical perspective. The process was elementary. So I devised a solution and hey presto, within a week, the long standing pain had gone. I kid you not, Bloggo. GONE! Now, whenever fellow athletes have a similar problem, I wait until they have spent several quids before I tentative offer aid. It is only when they have spent lots of quids and are most frustrated that they might just pay heed to a badge less uncertified helper.
Injuried are you Blog? Hobble on boyo. See if I care. I suppose if you gave a few quids to Tiny Tims Children’s Centre I might just consider helping you with your Achilles, Blog; I might be a little more forth coming … as the art mistress said to the gardener. I don’t suppose you are old enough Blog, to remember which wireless show that came from, are you Blog. Sorry Blog, I know I have told you before, but in case you have forgotten, a wireless is the same as an i-pod with no pictures and is much too heavy to carry around in your pocket, even if your pockets are deep. You’d need a shopping trolley.
Back to the subject of the plough. Sessions not only did a great deal to build up physical strength in the muscles in the legs but also ensured a mental toughness. Such a work out had many of the attributes of a circuit but without the indoor boredom. Could be used as a first ‘a.m.’ session followed by a ‘p.m.’ track interval workout or as a ‘p.m.’ session following a long ‘a.m.’ run. One famous marathon Games medallist always used to tell me to ‘train heavy, race light’. Now Blog, think about it. Clever stuff. It has at least three meanings; one being applied to quantity, the second to the use of plough and the third to the weight of running shoes. BUT. The latter is hardly possible today because modern technology produces training shoes which are lighter than the racers of yesteryear – but more about that next time, Blog. I’ must stop, now. The farmer who lives across from the driveway at the edge of my estate has just phoned to ask me how long am I going to be before I change into kit as he has finished sharpening his shares and is ready and waiting to go. Bother – where did I leave my boots?
Colin
P.S. In Yorkshire we did not ‘do’ running over plough, we did bog trotting. If you have ever tried to run over a moorland bog, Blog, you know how hard it is.
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