Murrey's Wimbledon Result 2012

Sunday 2pm:- I’ll tell you what Blog, when I gave permission to the estate staff to mount a scarecrow display at the Gatehouse for the Allesley Village Festival, I certainly didn’t anticipate that my estate workers would take such advantage of my offer. They have gone rather over board methinks with this ‘The Olympics’ theme. When I went for my morning trudge yesterday, I nearly got knocked down by the traffic rushing to my Gatehouse to see the scarecrow display … and this was at 7am so you can imagine the chaos that had ensued by 10 o’clock. It was gridlocked in the Lane all Saturday and this morning after trudging I had to walk the last half mile back down the Lane to the entrance to my estate as the cars were totally jammed. Jammed solid, Blog. Jammed with a capital ‘J’. Drivers were irate. Blog, I kid you not. I could see the situation turning nasty if they could not view all the scarecrows fairly soon. So to help calm the situation, after showering and having a lightly poached egg on toast and a couple of cups of rather strong coffee, I sent a couple of my staff down the driveway to the Gatehouse to make tea and coffee for the stranded motorists in exchange for a small donation to the charity which supports disable children, Tiny Tims Children’s Centre. At lunchtime (12 o’clock GMT), an emergency meeting of the Coventry Council’s Traffic Management Committee was convened to enact a local bylaw which would enable the council to instigate immediately measures to deal with the traffic in the Lane. By 5 minutes past noon the Council had an emergency one way system in place and had called upon the local village police offices to manage the traffic flow. An outrider was stationed at the top of the Lane to prohibit access for vehicular vehicles and an Incident Room was set up in the form of a trailer was positioned at the bottom of the Lane to deal with complaints from irate motorists wanting to view the scarecrows at my estate Gatehouse. Local 2-way traffic for residents was exempt from the traffic banning order. As I am the only resident in the Lane, I am alright Jack. The police decided that waiting time for viewing the scarecrows at my estate Gatehouse was to be limited to 12 minutes with a break for coffee included. In the meantime I did a little trudge into the village and bought some bickies for the drivers stuck in the jam, I felt it was the least I could do. I levied a charge for a single biscuit of 50p which I thought was reasonable in the circumstances; after all it was my second trudge of the day. To demonstrate to the viewing public that I was in tune with their feelings of admiration of the work done by my employees in creating such a fine display, I went out personally myself to take some photographs of the scarecrows. Now they have been developed, I am enclosing a copy for you to admire Blog. I do not know yet when the judging will take place or when I will be presented with the winner’s award. I will let you know Blog.

This is part of Mr Cameroon’s friend, Mr Go’s attempt to lift the academic standards and return to the preferred values of privilege and patronage. Fees are quite reasonable and payable into my Bahamian off shore account.

I think this is rather clever because my head gardener was telling me that the staff had half a scarecrow left, so they stuck it in a Sainsbury’s basket for a boat and made a paddle, so in this case he had a paddle but didn’t have a creek. I didn’t like to ask him what this Sainsbury basket thing is all about. Some sort of staff in-joke I expect.

The caption for this read ‘Rita made certain that she would do well in the individual synchronised swimming event’. It took place at the Allesley Swimming Public Baths.

Since I took this photograph, a member of the public has taken pity on the girl hurdler and given her a pair of old puma spikes. Between you and me Blog, I reckon they will fit me when all tis scarecrow lark is over.

No idea what the cost is, but if he thinks he can come onto my land and make a few quids, he has another think coming. 50% with concessions or I shall summon the constable from the top of the Lane to come and sort him out.

‘Sir Chris Hoy found this race rather taxing’. Taxing. Very good. Wink, wink.

‘David Bedford didn’t win an Olympic medal because he forgot to phone a friend’. I shared a room with Dave at the 1972 Olympics and he was always on the phone. No mobiles in those days, it was put four deutschmarks in the slot and press button ‘B’.

Fred had spent most evenings and every weekend in the pub getting into tip top condition for the Olympics.’ I do have some stupid staff, he looks more like a George than a Fred?

                                                          Colin