Ggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeetiinnnggs

Bloody Plebs,

        The estate staff have refused to work for the last seven days so bang goes their Christmas bonus. Their Union has negotiated a week off for Christmas followed by a week off for the New Year without mentioning it to me. Therefore I have spent the last eight days digging out the drive way down to the Lane, barrowing the hard core up to the back of the stable block, filling in the hole in the drive so created with concrete which I have had to hand mix myself, then laying granite blocks for a new surface, while behind the stables I am creating a large area of hard standing built higher than the reach of the bloody floods to keep my automobiles dry. I have had to dig out the footings myself (ref first sentence) lay the concrete and build the retaining wall (again ref first sentence). BUT. I was held up doing the footings (flood water to a depth of 26 inches – [65 centimetres to you Blog]), I was held up when the first line of bricks (flood water to the depth of 19 inchers [48 centimetres to you Blog]) and the second layer (incomplete as the flood water is now sixteen inches [forty centimetres to you Blog] and rising). Three separate floods in eight days, up and down, up and down, up … well three up and two down with one in abeyance. Back in October if you remember Blog, I told you that the week before the Coventry Half Marathon, a man from the council had been round spraying red paint round the holes in the road surface in the Lane opposite the estate’s main gate; the red spray indicating that the hole required attention from the Council’s Hole Fillers-tarmac section. Back in October, the hole measured about 25 centimetres by 10 centimetres and 15 centimetres deep …. It now measures 3 metres by 75 centimetres and down to the basic hard core with the adjacent drain crumbling into the road drain itself, the whole presenting a major traffic hazard, sited as it is, just before a sharp bend!!!! I assume that when the Power’s That Be at the Council’s see what an efficient job I have done on my drive way without any help from the bloody estate plebs who refused to work for the last seven days, they will ask me to tender for the hole in the road opposite the estate’s gateway. They will be further impressed when they find out that I spent the eight days digging out the drive way down to the Lane, barrowing it all up to the back of the stable block, filling in the hole so created, with concrete I had to mix myself, then laying granite blocks for a new surface, while behind the stables I created a large area of hard standing built higher than the reach of the bloody floods to keep my automobiles dry without help from my employees. They will be even more impressed when I tell them I had to dig out the footings myself (ref first sentence) lay the concrete and build the retaining wall despite being held up doing the footings (flood water to a depth of 26 inches – 69 cm blog), and held up when the first line of bricks disappear under water (flood water to the depth of 19 inchers – 48cm Blog) and the second layer (incomplete as the flood water is now sixteen inches and rising 40 cm Blog). The money I save on the staff bonuses will go towards reducing the overall cost of my tender to the Coucil.

I have to admit Blog, that yesterday I single headedly almost helped the Mayan prediction of the world ending to come true. I put a new battery in my granddaughter’s torch. Unfortunately I put it in the wrong way round. So instead of the torch giving out light it started sucking light in, starting a mini Black Hole in Coventry. Nothing could escape, even gravity. Luckily before any serious damage could be done and I destroyed the world as the Mayan’s predicted, the battery died. Boy was I relieved that I didn’t miss Christmas.

                                                     Colin