Saturday, 27 April 2013

Money, money, money, it's a richman's world ...

Photograph Quiz:

Photo no. 148:- Where is this stall? …. A clue => not at the London Marathon Expo! What is it all about???? Could this be the start of a rival to SportsDirect???
So Blog,
        After all the excitement of London, it is back to local competition …. Track starts tomorrow with the youngsters at Leicester and there is a Championship 20 kilometre (12 miles to you Colin) on the Warwick University Campus course. It always surprises me that the walkers are quite happy to walk a kilometre (0ne thousand yards Colin) straight lap with a sharp turn at both ends; surely it must cause hip injury problems. No such difficulties with this week’s trudging I am pleased to report Blog. But. Hold your breath, some background first. …. I and other have observed that that nice Mr Cameroon’s close friend, Ollie Osbourne, is helping to solve the economic plight of this country by issuing all those different designs for the 50p pieces (ten bob, Colin but metal not paper) with Olympic sports on the Queen’s obverse. Different designs so the plebs will collect a full set, thereby locking up millions of unused quids, relieving the Exchequer of an estimated £0.5 billion (half a billion Colin) deficit reduction. Clever or what??? I bet this new Churchill fiver is another ploy along the same lines??? Then he will start on the quids, ten pees, five peas and so on and so fourth and fifth. So that’s the debt crisis solved which leaves Ollie with lots of spare time to help out Simon Burk with his holy road problem.
   You have got to smile at Ollie’s success with this 50 peeing lark though. Not only has he got most of the plebs stacking their 50 pease in their piggy banks never to be used, but he is also advertising on the e-bay gum thing, offering different designs to help complete people’s’ collections. And the really clever thing is that he is charging one quids each, plus postage for each one. So, don’t get in touch with me next week Blog, because I will be out, down at Coventry Market selling 50 please for a quid, quids for a fiver, Churchill fivers for a tenner …don’t stop me now, I’m having a good time, I’m having a ball and making lots of quids for the Charity for disabled Children, Tiny Tims Children’s Centre. Can I interest you Blog in a few coins?????
     It is really getting out of hand. Even my dear wife is infected, though I have to question where she is getting the quids from to buy these 50 please. Case in point… this morning I come back form my burn up trudge, having stopped after a couple of miles (three kilometres to you Blog) to pick up a 50p I had spotted lying on the pavement. When I staggered through the tradesman’s entrance when I got back home, I gave the said 50P to my dear wife who was busying herself with preparing my recovery drink, running my hot bath and putting out fresh clothes on the bed for me to change into. ‘Hear you are darling’ I said (I use these terms of endearment to encourage her when she is working, cleaning, digging the garden, washing the car, sluicing the cess pit etc.) ‘I have a present for you’. You should have seen her little face, beaming for hair curler to hair curler. Bless. But then she suddenly changed and had a right paddy (no offence meant to my many friends across the water in the Emerald Isle). She chucked the said coin at me and yelled at me …. What did I think I was doing etc. etc. etc.. I was taken aback I can tell you Blog. This was not the Mrs Kirkham I have come to love and care for. When I had repaired the stool she had thrown at me, I sat her down on it and calmed her down. Apparently she was so upset because she had ‘got’ that particular design of 50p coin. She had expected a 50p coin to add to her collection, not one that she had already got. I did suggest that she might advertise it on that e-bay gum thing and make a quid. I said I was sorry and asked what I could do to make amends for the disappointment she had so obviously suffered. She said nothing but gave me a fresh set of kit and pushed me out of the tradesman’s entrance with the implied threat that I should not come back home until I trudged a few extra miles (kilometres Blog) and found a 50p coin which would sit proudly with her other coins. So Blog, I am just going outside and may be some time. Because finding a 50p which my dear wife hasn’t got, may take some time, to sustain me, I grabbed a few oat cakes before she threw me out of the kitchen.
                                            Colin    

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