Joe O'Brien

Blog,

    At 6am this morning I nearly froze to death on my trudge. Frost. Freezing frost in nearly June. Frost Blog, I kid you not. And the noise from the poor swallows sat on the telegraph wires complaining about their package holiday which had promised sunshine and an abundance of insects. They have flown all this way and what do they get? Frost!

Hello. Hello. Hello Plod. Wot is this ‘ere then?

I woz proceeding along the path in the Park at 1:12pm this afternoon with a black sack on my back. Blog I kid you not.

You woz droppin litter.

Oh no I wasn’t.

Oh yes you woz.

I woz proceeding along the top path in the War Memorial Park in Coventry this afternoon at 1:26pm with a black plastic bag on my back, and every 50 yards (43 metres to you Blog) I took a large hand full of sawdust from my sack and placed it carefully on the ground.

There you just gon an done it agen. I saw you, plain as day. You dun dropped some more litter.

Officer, I am not dropping litter.

Yes you did, I dun just seen ya.

A further 50 yards (43 metres Blog), I took another large handful of saw dust from my sack and put it at the side of the path in the Coventry War Memorial Park. As it was just before the path turned left, I took a lump of plaster board from my pocket which I used as a chalk substitute and drew a set of large arrows on the tarmac path to indicate a left turn for the runners.

There you dun it agen and you are now graffettiing in a public place. I must warn you that is you go and do it agen I will caution you as to your rights with a view to an arrest if you continue to act in such a unsociable manner. Graffettiing is a serious offence you can Banksie on it.

Officer, I am not dropping litter and I am not graffettiing. I am trying to mark out the running course around the Park for the Police Cross Country Race which will start in about 45 minutes.

A likely story my lad. I feel it is my duty under section 42 of the Common Criminal Act 1937, part B, paragraph 4ii, sub section 37, page 14, that I must remove that black plastic bag from your back which appears to contain items of a suspisious nature.

Now look wot you gon and dun, you hav spilt all that sawdust on my nice clean uniform. I feel it is my duty under section 44 of the Common Criminal Act 1937, part B, paragraph 6iii, sub section 37, page 15 that I arrest you for damaging police property, namely, the uniform of a serving police officer who at the time of the offence was acting in the course of his duty. The police property was damage with a substance which could cause damage by fire if ignited.

Officer. It is saw dust. Have you ever tried setting fire to sawdust?

Now then lad, we’ll have less of this ‘ere cheek. You are in a serious position as to regards your liberty. Just watch your lip.

Officer it is now 30 minutes to the start of the race. If you arrest me, I will not get the course marked out in time for the start of the Police Race.

Wot is this you say. 30 minutes ‘til the afore mentioned race is about to start? Cor blimey. I had better get a shift on and get changed out of my police uniform and into my running kit. Don’t you think you have got away with this litter charge my lad; you may not have heard the last of this.

                                           Colin

 Thursday May 16^th. Annual Memorial Race in Memory of P.C. O’Brien who was killed while on duty supervising traffic at a Fun Run in Willenhall, Coventry. Joe O’Brien was a member of the Walking Section of Coventry Godiva harriers and a community police officer in Willenhall.

(I had been volunteered to help organise the race.)