The National Health Service

Photo no 205:

Question:- Godiva had a cycling section until the early 1950s. Why did it cease to exist? And what is the significance of this bike …… and is it a spoof?????

Dear Blog,

                   What a surprise …. the man with the delivery van for Argos hasn’t been round to the Mansion to see me yet. I wait with baited breath for the compensation package to arrive. And what a surprise …. I have not heard from any ‘Watchdog’ programme from the media saying they interested in following up the story of how Argos turned a one third reduction into an 11% rise. C’est la vie?

I think I told you about my little tumble in December when I hurt my thumb joint, my neck and my right leg caused I suspect, by some of my varicose veins seizing up when I was out plodding. There I was trudging along minding everyone else’s business expecting my right leg to come through again to enable me to continue my forward trudge ….. when suddenly there was no leg there!! It was still behind me, seized up solid. Well Blog, as you know, it takes two legs to tango and if one is missing you enter a state of unstable equilibrium. (I learnt all about that at the Pink Panther University) So there I was in this state of unstable equilibrium, and mother nature preferring a steady state to exist, allowed me to go a**e over t*t, hurting  my thumb joint, my neck and my right leg. I have to say that it was one of the worst trips I have ever been on. My right leg is the size of an elephant leg – a big elephant. I have had to buy a pair of flairs from the 60s because my leg is so like a tree trunk. My new shoes are two sizes bigger to accommodate my swollen foot. You can just see my toes peeking out at the end of my leg swelling if you look very closely!! So six months on and much pain later, I decided the time was ripe to visit the Ju Ju man. So Tuesday was the big day out. What a waste of time that was. Half an hour consultation, reference to another member of the practice, give us a sample, that’s OK, your kidneys are still functioning, give us some blood, its black pudding night tonight …. So Blog, you mustn’t worry too much about me. I shall see the Ju Ju man again for further advice about my puffy leg when he has had time to read up in his big books about possible causes and cures. Heart transplant, no problem. Can you pop in tomorrow for a refit? Bionic arm, no problem. Just used 3-in-1 so it doesn’t rust up. New set of lungs, no problem. Just hold your breath for a minute or two while a new pair are slipped in. But a puffy leg. No way baby. Come back next week, please. Don’t you worry matey boy, I’ll be there with my compensation claim for the purchase of a new pair of flairs and a pair of large shoes. And then we can start on the thumb joint and the neck so I can have a pain free night’s sleep for a change!!!!!

                             Luv ya Blog.

                                                                 Colin