Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Christmas box for the wife


Photographic Quiz.
 

Photo number:- sorry Blog, I am past caring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Question:-  Who sent this Christmas card? To whom? And what is the connection to Coventry Godiva Harriers?? I will grant you Blog, that is a hard question and the clue I have given you shows a touch of genius by me, don't you think?

Dear Blog,                          

                So Blog, it's that time of year again. You know, 'the big con of 'buy one - give one - get one - bin one-  'cos its a load of rubbish' time.

                 Well my good lady wife, I use the term freely, has been dropping hints about what she wants from Father Jesus. It started when we were driven through Yokel Land on the way to Never Never Land. 'Oh look' she says 'the Browns are having their cottage painted white.' or was it the Whites were having their cottage painted brown. I don't know, it could have been the Green's for all I care. But you get the drift, Blog. Someone down the Lane was having a paint job done. And of course, that got her speculating that what was good enough for the Browns / Whites / Greens / pick whatever colour you want Blog, was for her. Period.

                 'OH Look' she says a couple of days later, 'The kitchen paintwork is beginning to look grubby.' Did I fall into the trap and reply to her Blog ? Am I stupid Blog? No I just carried on toasting  my cornflake sandwich as if nothing had been said. Subtle, that's me Blog.

                 Then it was 'It is a long time since this Morning Room was decorated'.  'Ten years' I thought 'and good for another ten!' Then it was the Breakfast Room, then the Banquet Hall ....

                 A slightly different tack was to observe that the paintwork in a particular part of the Mansion was 'tired'. I just yawned.

                The brochures started appearing next. You know the kind of thing Blog. "Special Offer. Decorate one room and get the other one done as well because it will now look shabby in comparison and you wouldn't want the neighbours to observe that would you" type of thing. Once you start Blog, you may as well go off to our Cottage in the Bahamas for a couple of months and let them get on with it while you try to forget the pain of the sun burn. But no Blog. That shows weakness. And once a chink is detected these women creatures won't let up!

                  And so it came to pass dear children mine....

                  Now I have to confess Blog ...... After six weeks of these not so subtle hints and with Christmas not twenty days away, I have buckled. I have given way under the pressure. Just this once my dear wife of so many years can have her way. If she wants the old Mansion decorated, then so be it. I have no problem with that. First thing tomorrow, I shall take the best motor car and drive into the big city to buy her pressie.  I reckon she will be tickled pink on Christmas morning when she unwraps the parcel and sees that her continual pestering about repainting has paid off. In the morning, I shall be driven straight to the posh decorating shop on the High Street and buy her a set of paint brushes. I reckon I can get some of those rubbishy Chinese ones for less than five quids if I show my pensioner's discount card. What a lucky lady my wife is, having such a dear thoughtful husband.

                      If I get any change from my five quids I may even buy her a Christmas card - always assuming  there isn't enough left for a coffee, that is.

                                          Colin   

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