Mini car in times past

Photographic Quiz
          Photo no. 200 nominal for a new start.

car in times

Depressingly, I have attended an alarming number of funerals in the last year. Because most have had a Godiva Harrier connection, the funeral mourners have all been much of a muchness, attending all the services. Without wishing to be in any way disrespectful to any of the deceased, the wakes have appeared to be very much like a gathering of aged pensioners on an organised day trip out from a care home to the local Crematorium!!! One down, so who is next in line. What are the odds? Just as bookies were supposedly banned from AAA handicap meetings in the past, the appearance of a gentleman offering odds on the various congregational members might cause a degree of alarm??

 Colin Kirkham 10 to 3 before Christmas, bar the field. Evens before he reaches 80 years. 1000 to 1 he cocks his clogs tomorrow. 

I met Jack through a mutual friend before I had been in Coventry a month. Both Jack and my friend, a Coventry lad, had met when both were signing on the dole. Neither knew the other was a Godiva member until they had chatted a few times at the dole office!!

Jack had been a member of Coventry Birchfield Harriers soon after they had, in theory at least, severed all ties with the Birmingham Birchfield in the 1920s, despite being a branch club. Branches of athletic clubs were all but banned in the early 20s, but Birchfield being Birchfield didn't quite get the message. Any decent athlete that came to the fore in the Coventry Birchfield Harriers, somehow found them as a competing member for the Birmingham club!!! When Coventry Birchfield metamorphosed into Coventry Harriers, Jack, like most members  transferred to the new club and when that folded, he signed up for Godiva.

Jack is probably up there now at that great athletics' club in the sky, still smiling at the irony of him receiving his letter from the Queen to celebrate his ONE HUNDREDTH birthday, only to be a little bit naughty and cop out the day before!! I wonder if anyone told the Queen. If they did, she might have arrested Jack for false pretences and sent him to the Tower to be tried for treason but Jack fooled her on that score as well, as he was dead.

A story about Jack. Jack didn't have a car, hiring one when necessity demanded. Sometimes he drove me to a race in my mini van if it was an important event. I had bought the mini van new. I clocked a higher than average milage and as the milometer ticked toward 50,00 miles, Jack moaned on about it needing a decoke. No way could I afford that, any way I was none too mechanically minded. No worries says Jack, the blokes at work all do it, it's not too difficult and you can borrow my garage to do it in. Simply follow the Haynes Car Manual instructions on the Mini. Jack worked in a car factory.

So I had a couple of days of holiday left, I get a car manual form the library and buy a decoke kit from the local car parts shop.

I drive the car into Jack's garage, he goes off to work and I strip the engine down. Easi peasi even for me. The garage floor is littered with engine bits, I feel quite proud. I carefully grind the new valves in, and start the reassembly. I get everything back, carefully following the steps in the car manual. THEN, the job of reassembly is complete. BUT the job's not a gudun as I still have a fistful of gaskets left over. The feeling of being so proud with myself turns swiftly to panic.

Jack comes home from work, I explain my dilemma and wait for him to sort it.  

I don't know what you have done wrong he says.

You told me it was simple, I couldn't go wrong

Yes it is simple all the blokes on the track at work say so. I don't understand car engines.

So why have I got these gasket bits left over?

Well I don't know

What do you mean Jack, 'You don't know'. You told me it was simple. I've followed the Manual and I have these bits left .. and I am due back at work tomorrow.

Jack and his missus provide me with an evening meal, as I live four miles away; they also put me up for the night. There is no way I can get into work in the morning, its 13 miles away in a country village in North Warwickshire served by no buses from Coventry. I know no phone numbers to contact anyone at work. I'm screwed.

Next morning after breakfast with Jack, he goes off to work and \all I can do is run the couple of miles to the car part shop where I bought the decoke kit to see if they have any ideas.

I explain to the assistant my dilemma and he calls the manager out from the back room.

I repeat my predicament to the manager and says he will have to have the other two assistants in, to help solve the problem I had presented.

I repeat the story for a third time to all four as they stood stony faced behind the counter.

I started to realised that none of them was taking me seriously, confirmed when first one burst out laughing and then the others cracked up.

The manger apologised and reassured me that my mini van would be OK as the spare bits from the decoke kit were for other variations of the mini, the mini cooper etc. He told me to go back home switch on the engine, rev it a bit and drive off. As an assurance he said that if it didn't work, he or one of the others would come and get it sorted, and because I had given them all a good laugh and taken it in good part, there would be no charged.

I ran back to Jack's switched on the engine and it fired beautifully. I showered and drove into work, better late than never.

And the mini van did another 45,000 miles before I sold it, having had no after effects from my genius mechanical feat.

Jack thought it funny too.

So did his workmates!!!

So Blog, if you have a problem with your car engine, or you want some part or other fixing, let me know and I will fix up a séance with Jack and get it sorted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!