THE BIG DAY

It’s here. The Great Day. The Big day has come at last. The waiting is over. The day everyone has been longing for ..... but while all the nation is glued to the Box, Blog and I have been given special dispensation to have exclusive access to view the top table of priceless gifts to celebrate the momentous event.

From the picture, which we were honoured at being granted the privilege to snap, Bow, Bow, Scrape, you can see that the drinks list for the Guesses includes a fine 2011 Cherrie Chardonnay de Lucozade, a full bodied can of ‘London Pride (how appropriate) and a sparkling special plastic bottle of spring water. Grovel.

The katering includes the delicate chocolat de Mars and a baguette of jelly snakes so loved by the laddered gentry of this great nation of ours. Touching the forelock. If the hard rains do fall at any time during the special day, the foil blanket will provide protection from the elements with the beautiful red laces available on hand and foot to adorn the slippers of any passing princess.

And the Bag, Blog. What a bag. Capacious with a draw string chord and labelled 26355, the exclusive number of the limited edition production run of only 37,000. I ask you, Blog, surely a collector’s item of the future? All this can be taken with a pinch of Lo Salt; there is gel for the heir; spray for the shower and a rub for the sore bits that might chafe a little after sitting for so long on the settee (sofa if you live south of the Trent)  watching the tele (television if you live south of the Trent).

And there’s the T-shirt. THE t-shirt. The design of which has been the subject of so much rumour and so much speculation in the press and in the media for so long. As you can see, it is now revealed as a short sleeved, large sized white shirt subtly decorated with the famous logo of Sir Richard. Curtsy.

The medal.

THE MEDAL.

In the forefront of the exclusive picture which Blog and I were honoured at being granted the privilege to snap is THE MEDAL. The medal the world has been guessing at. On public view for the very last time before it is presentation

[I don’t feel that the two plastic bags advertising Sir Dicks company and my race number would have detracted from the fine display of race refinery, as you have suggested Blog. I can confirm that they are available if any Guessts withes to make a final donation for Tiny Tims Children’s Centre or Newlife.] Where there's a will, I am sure there is a way. Sorry, I had to get them both in, it being their day!!!