Dear Blog,
Eat your heart out Karl Berstein. Eat your heart out Bob Westward. Stick the Watergate Exposé in the waste bin of history. We now have Streetlygate. STREETLYGATE, I kid you not. If the Watergate scandal brought down the Nixon administration, what will Streetlygate bring down? Some question, eh Blog. Do I go public or do I keep quiet? How do I wrestle with my conscience?
Today I went to Sutton Park, in Sutton Coldfield to the north of Birmingham to watch my elder daughter run in the National Road Relays for Coventry Godiva Harriers. If you do not know Blog, the National Road relays in the autumn consist of four legs of 4.3km for women and six legs of 5.8km for men. In the spring, the National Road Relays at Sutton Park, consist of six legs of 2.995miles for women and twelve legs of alternate long and short legs of 5.38 miles and 2.995 miles for men. During the week, while doing some research for my ‘History of Athletics in the Coventry Area with Particular Reference to Coventry Godiva Harriers’ I came across a set of photographs I had taken in [year withheld]. Now, in the past, I have been a lone voice crying in the wilderness. No one would listen to me. I have repeatedly claimed that in [year withheld], the National long stages were short. If you do not know Blog, the long stage runners race to Streetly Gate, in Sutton Park, go out of the park gate for a few metres, turn and return into the park, running along the same roadway back to the Sutton Park Monument the identical route taken on the way they ran out. The country’s best runners turn out for their clubs in the National Road Relays each year, the cast list being a race promoter’s dream of quality; not that the promoters could afford to assemble such a glitterati of athletic talent for a single race, but these world class athletes turn out for their club as a matter of personal pride. The long stage times recorded are therefore the stuff of legends. The pecking order is the subject of club debate around the athletic clubs of the country. Now Blog. THE problem. I have always claimed that in [year withheld], the race for the long leg was short. “Oh yes Colin, go take a cold shower. A very cold shower. You can be a bore at times, you know. Most times”. The set of photographs I found, clearly show that in [year withheld] all the runners turned inside the park before the Streetly Gate. Embarrassing what????? Are all those records from [year withheld] nullified??? Will England Athletics take action to re write the record books??? Will UK Athletics set up a committee of enquiry??? Will that nice Mr Cameroon sack his Sports Minister??? Will Usain Bolt run into next year??? Will the British railway trains run on time??? Will all the kitchen cookers run on gas??? OR WILL England Athletics silence me by offering me the job of Team Manager which has just been vacated by that coach bloke. OR WILL UK Athletics buy me off by offering me tickets for all the athletic events at next year’s Olympic Games in London? I’ll accept nothing short of the honour of lighting the Olympic Bowl in the Stadium! I don’t mind using my own matches. During today’s racing I went out to the Streetly Gate and did a bit of measuring, a bit of a run through using the different turning points .... about four seconds difference is a conservative estimate, I reckon. FOUR SECONDS. Boy will that alter the overall official times, or will that alter the overall official times?? This is the stuff for the red tops, don’t you think Blog? I could make a killing? Do I go to the Daily Mirror or do I go to the Sun? The Guardian ... you cannot be serious? If Mr Dandelion Burdoch hadn’t closed the News of the World down, they would have definitely crossed my palm with silver .... if not gold? Remember, the camera does not lie. Berstein and Woodward may have tape evidence, but I have evidence on celluloid; and in colour, not your black and white. Your actual Kodak, I kid you not. So who are the international athletes who have a FOUR second handicap??? Which famous runners will slip down the greasy pole of all time bests??? Is the official team times affected in [year withheld]??? Are those particularrecorded team times also null and void??? Will the clubs’ sponsors grease my palm to destroy the evidence??? Or will they make me a Life Member??? Just in case they try to give me a pair of concrete running shoes, or a weighted racing vest, and I am made to do a session trading water, I have instructed my solicitor that in the untimely event of me trudging even more slowly, they are to release into the public domain all the information concerning Streetlygate that I have deposited with them!! On the other hand, perhaps a generous donation to the children’s charity for disable children, Tiny Tims Children’s Centre will cause me to have an attack of amnesia??? What do you think, Blog. Bit of a poser, what???
Colin
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