weear abart?????

Photograph Quiz.

Photo no 253:- weea barnit?

Na then then Blog,

   Al tell thee summot fer nowt .. wen I were wocking at t’hut tha can see ont reet o’ttrack, me an me boss Dick, ad mooha than them there pitches tha can see int picture – a cella full mooha. Wear thas muc ont bottom o picture, well that were Keighley tip cept t’council ad dun an filled it in years aforoe an it were rugger pitches, six o sods, wen I were there. Trouble were that council used tip midden to tip all tdead osses in. an wi time, themas rotted an tip kept sinkin darn so Dick an me ad to kep fillin toil in wi muk tipped be council tlevel it like. An cos tgippos caped at bottom o tip wi ad to go passen all themthere guards dogs iveryday tget ttip top. It were ded fritting al tell the that fer nowt. We’d got a gert ut at topun track an wid a smallun ont criit square an one ont tiptop weea we ad fower rugger pitches, sorry six av told thee already. Will tell thee mower tomorra appen if am doin nowt much.

                                               Colin

an did tha ear Zatopek????

Arthur Smith, Comedian

Dear Blog,

     Arthur Smith, the comedian, still hasn’t been in touch with me about Zatopek. I must say that I think he is cutting it a bit fine for tomorrow’s broadcast on the wireless. Do you think I should get in touch with him in case he cannot find my address???

                                 Colin

Zatopek

Photograph Quiz.

Photo no 252:-  Yes 252, got it wrong again in my last letter to you. Thanks for letting me know about my error Blog.

Zatopek

Dear Blog,

          Aunty Beeb has been mercilessly flogging the fact that next Tuesday on the wireless is a programme about that great runner Zatopek. At 4:30pm the comedian, Arthur Smith, will be giving some kind of informative talk about the runner and his exploits. Now what amazes me Blog, is that Arthur Smith has not got in  touch with me for some personal recollections concerning Zatopek. Cannot understand why. I am glupsted. Why you may ask Blog. Well ….. starting in the midsixties I met the great man. Surely not? I hear you ask Blog. Well, Blog, would I kid you? As I have mentioned to you on many occasions, I attended the Pink Panther University and did a few sums. Now the Pink Panther University is composed of many colleges – well one was actually a ‘Society’, the difference from a college being that the undergrads ran their own affaires basically. One mark of our [for in that Society was I] independence, involved the election of one member of the Society junior common room to sit on Senate or something and look after the Society’s interests. I have spent all my life avoiding the limelight not being elected for this, that or the other office, but circumstances have conspired to ensure that I was thrust into various roles without me bothering to seek any election to the aforesaid offices. Bill said something about some blokes seeking greatness and other chappies having greatness thrust upon them – well I wrote his script. Why did I become cricket captain at school in my first year?? I don’t know Blog, I didn’t apply. How was I elected to the National Mobile Home Executive? I don’t know Blog, I didn’t apply. How did I become Head of Mathematics at the school where I taught?? I don’t know Blog, I didn’t apply for the post. With hindsight I reckon everyone except me, took one step backwards when leaders were being sought and volunteers were asked to take one step forward. And so it was that I was the Society’s Rep., the only undergraduate on Senate or something, with all these important people. How was I elected? I don’t know Blog, I didn’t stand for election.

  Anyways, it came to pass that Zatopek, the multi Olympic Gold Medalist, was visiting the Pink Panther University in the mid-60s for some reason which I cannot remember; part of a Trade Delegation, I think. And Senate did not really know how to entertain the great man. Blog, all this is true, I kid you not. Some bright spark who I think was the Deputy Registrar who preceded me as the University Cross Country Captain at the Pink Panther University, suggested I take the multi Olympic Gold Medalist for a run to keep him occupied for the afternoon. Blog, I still kid you not. Besides shaking hands, I was far too shy to actually consider myself worthy of looking after him for a couple of hours!!! That was at a time when he was an accepted by the ruling communist party in Prague. And yes, the cross country captaincy was something I didn’t seek, will tell you about that sometime!

    A decade or so later I competed in a race Czechoslovakia and the athletes were supposed to have met Zatopek informally before the race and then again at the race presentation. But further purges took place, a legacy of Dubcek and the Prague Spring in ’68 and Zatopek was declared a nonperson. We never met!!! However, while there, I had gone for a run and managed to end my run without a shadow … I was approached by an aged gentleman who was not such a keen supporter of the regime and we managed to talk – it was obvious that he was desparate to talk. It gets complicated here   …. Suffice to say that he would arrange for me to meet Zatopek if I ever ran in Czechoslovakia again, a highly unlikely prospect. But he arranged how I would let him know if I did return. The lady who acted as interpreter was equally interested in Zatopek’s plight. All very strange. I don’t understand any of this I must admit. But.

  Remember, it was very difficult in those days if not impossible for a citizen from behind the Iron Curtain who was not an important Party member to travel in the West alone, very difficult!!! The summer of the following year, there was a knock on our front door and I found upon answering that the lady translator was standing there!!! She was staying about half a mile away with a gentleman who had an allotment on the same plot as myself. Blog, are you still with me??? Blog, I am still not kidding you. Would I? She was staying in England for a few days. As she was a teacher, I took her into my school for a couple of days to experience our wonderful educational system. I saw her the day before she returned home and she promised out of the blue that she would try to arrange for me to meet Zatopek if ever I was to race in her country again – a highly unlikely prospect as I have said already!!

   And it came to pass that I was selected to run a marathon in Czechoslovakia the following year!!!! I shall tell you what happened when I have a couple of hours to spare ………..

  One upshot was that I had an Israeli visa and a stamp from an Iron Curtain country in my passport ….. And I shall tell you what happened when I tried to get into the USA when I have a couple of hours to spare. The border agency were almost apoplectic when they interviewed me at Passport Control when they demanded to know how much money I had for my stay in the States and I told them that I had no money, not dollars, not sterling not even milk tokens, but I had that visa and I had that communist stamp … Blog, I still kid you not. I had nowt!!

  And when you want to get into an Arab country with an Israeli stamp in your Passport, I needed a second passport!! Two passports I hear you say Blog. Blog I kid you not …TWO passports; I shall tell you what happened when I have a couple of hours to spare!

   I don’t think I ever told you about the Zatopek Book, did I Blog, how I go it and how I carted it half way across Europe and back!!!

   And if I remember I shall also tell you about money changing activities behind the Iron Curtain when I have a couple of hours to spare. That you will never believe, Blog, never not ever. If you saw it in the picture house on a film, you would say it was far too far-fetched, a flight of fantasy!!

   And the comedian, Arthur Smith, never asked me about any of the above for his programme next Tuesday at 4:30pm on the wireless station called Radio 4. If he only knew what he missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              Colin

Yodel

Photograph Quiz.

Photo no 250:- The club of the same name built something remarkable in Coventry in 1878. Any ideas Blog???

Dear Blog,

                 As of a long time ago, I wrote to you in a light hearted way about the very serious matter of the invasive red rubber band threat. At first it was thought that the infection would spread uncontrolled and human life might well be threatened. A major cause of concern. The contagion spread rapidly through the community because the postal authority men did not clear up their detritus and the band threat appeared to be completely out of control and THEN … in a flash it was solved. No longer, no more a problem. Humanity came back from the brink ….the life on the planet had been saved from extinction.

    And how Blog, you quite rightly, ask ‘How did this infection of red rubber bands come under control?’

    It was that nice Mr Cameroon wot did it. HOW? He flogged the postal service to one of his mates, lock, stamp stocks and elastic bands. Simple. Sell it and make a few bob on the side and make sure that written into the contract of sale was the codicil that there would be no further red rubber bands on the ground anymore. Not ever. The postal men who scattered these bands here, there and everywhere were not happy. Nor were the little boys who used them to make catapults for use at school. Neither were all the little birdies who choked on them in the mistaken belief that they had found themselves a cheap meal.

    So it was out with the red rubber bands after years of decorating every street in the Union [as in ‘Vote Yes’]… and what were they replaced with????????????????? LOOK AROUND BLOG. You see them here, you see them there You see the flat note delivery labels everywhere …. It is a latter day red rubber band outbreak all over again but this time known as the YODEL notification leaflet; a nice yellow colour to blend into all the other litter on our streets. YODEL YODEL, your local delivery agent. YODEL coming to an echoing valley near you soon. THE company you can trust to deliver when you are out. It is rumoured that their agents, spend hours of their working (?) day hiding around the corners of our streets so that as soon as they see you leave your property unguarded, they can nip out from their concealment and stick a note on your door saying that they were unable to deliver your parcel as you were out. I could be wrong about the rumour. Probably for a small fee you can travel many miles to their Distribution Centre and collect the undelivered parcel yourself. And possibly, for a bigger fee you can have it redelivered …. No doubt when you are out!!?? And what is so clever about this I hear you ask Blog. Well. The clever bit is that the corner of their little labels are left very carefully just on the outside of your letter box so that the slightest puff of breeze and the label becomes detached and off it goes to gently float away down the street to blend into all the other litter on our streets.

   The recipient of a parcel in such circumstances never bothers to collect their parcel from the YODEL Distribution Centre, neither do they pay a small or large fee for redelivery because they never knew that the parcel wasn’t delivered in the first place. Or sp I am lead to believe – I could be wrong – probably are??

   Clever or what? …. And what happens with all the undelivered gear you may ask Blog. Well. Speculation is rife .. Auction it off??? Possibly the rumour on the streets is that some delivery men who might work for a certain delivery company, give their close family and relations and friends many varied gifts for Christmas presents and give many varied gifts for birthday presents. Bet that rumour is incorrect.

    You should not believe any piece of gossip Blog, that might have no foundation in truth should you Blog??

                                   Colin