Sunday 30 October 2011

Keighley and Worth Valley Railway

Photograph Quiz:
Photo no. 57a:- For my second fell race when I started running, I competed in a race witch ran up the hill you can see in the distance. WITCH hill is it? Cryptic Clue: Some will depend lets say!
Photo no. 57b:- What is the monument in the picture ... take what I say with a pinch of Salt! The hill referred to in 57a is to the right. I used to run across here on my long country runs when I first started running.
Dear Blog,
               Last week as I told you, I went up to Yorkshire but instead of camping for the week, the family hired a POD, which is a rich man’s version of a tent or a poor man’s version of a caravan. It is a garden hut, insulated, with a curved roof, carpeted floor, electricity and a heater. After my first trudge I did appreciate the warmth and space of this Pod thing instead of having to return to a cold damp tent with no room to swing a proverbial cat! Perched high on the Yorkshire moors, you could see for miles and miles. Well, the Pod’s owner said you could see for miles and miles on a clear day when we phoned up to book in for a week’s stay. And was he wrong? He was not wrong! Not at all. The site was about two miles from where I used to live, so I knew it well; also the surrounding countryside was my old stomping ground. Tuesday dawned fine, warm and sunny. For my trudge I decided to replicate a standard session I used to employ years ago when I wanted a speed quality work out. Of course it wouldn’t be a speed session. And it wouldn’t be a quality session. And there is no way any trudge of mine can be called a ‘work out’. And there would be a lack of buses to use. Buses? Yes Blog, Buses with a capital ‘B’. So what did I used to do? It was always a second or third session of the day and the idea was to have a quality blowout. I’d leave home and run quite hard down to the main road about a mile away. The spot where I joined up with the main Halifax Road, was a wide open road junction with an old iron horse trough on the small central island. The space provided a turning circle from the time in the 1930s when Keighley had tracklesses instead of buses for transporting the locals to and from the mills in the town. Before the electric vehicles, horse drawn transport used the turning circle, hence the old horse trough. I knew the timing of the bus service up to Haworth (of ‘Bronte’ fame) and Oxenhope (of the film ‘The Railway Children’ fame). As it was time for all the local mills to finish, buses were frequent. 50 years ago runners were regarded as oddballs and the subject of derision at best and abuse at worst. If the bus was late I did a few reps on the wide pavements around the circle until a bus appeared. This, as you can imagine, went down a treat from the queuing workers waiting for a bus to take them in the opposite direction to the bus I was waiting for. Howls of discouragement every time I speeded up to make another effort; it was always a relief when the bus to Haworth or Oxenhope turned up. Then the session began in earnest. It was two miles of constant steady climb up to Cross Roads where the roads to Haworth and Oxenhope diverged. My task was to race, Yes Blog, RACE, the bus up to the junction. The bus had to stop to drop passengers off of course, but these frequent stops afforded me the opportunity to catch and pass the bus. Our times to the junction were very similar. I had eleven bus stops to race the omnibus, the two miles being a constant game of pass / pass. I am sure the drivers used to enter into the spirit of the session. I know the passengers took an interest and got quite excited about who would be the victor! If the bus turned off to Oxenhope, which was my route, it was an added bonus as the competition was extended for another plus mile; but my task got harder as the road to the terminus was now flat and few passengers were left on the bus necessitating fewer stops. Part of my reason for this session was that it offered me a fast session with a couple of miles of flat running thrown into the steady run up hill to Cross Roads and the screamingly fast run back down from Cross Roads to my start point. Even on the return downhill section, I could give the local bus service a good run for its money! The terminus at Oxenhope village is also the terminus for the Keighley and Worth Valley Preservation Society’s steam railway – well worth a visit especially when a special event like the Santa Special is being promoted at Christmas time. Of course, the railway was still operational when I was a kid, pre Dr Beeching! I went to the local Wesleyan Chapel’s Sunday School next to the Ingrow station. Every year, we had a trip out instead of having a preaching. We used to assemble for morning Sunday School as usual, but, the service was abandoned and we were marched down to the local Ingrow Station, about 50 yards away, to board a train for our trip. Remember this was a desperately deprived area of the north, no toilets inside the back to back terraced houses, gas lighting, a single room up and a single room down etc.. So the days out were a treat to very much look forward to. The fact that we only caught the train four miles up the line to the Oxenhope terminus, never detracted from the excitement of a train journey and a play on the swings next to the Chapel at Oxenhope village when we got there. Incidentally, the next station up the line from Ingrow was Damens, where there was a level crossing; as it was on a muck path to the local mill, there was never much crossing! The next station was Oakworth, where my nephew is now Station Master for the Worth Valley Railway and my sister has just won her third succession Yorkshire in Bloom Gold Medal for the display and gardens at the station ... the only Gold to be won in the area!!! Some achievement! Back to my session. From Oxenhope, it was a small drop down to the railway station, a short steep climb to the back road to take me back to the park at Haworth where I could pick up a return bus service to Keighley. The half mile steady climb out of the Bronte village was always a challenge if a bus was on tap. Lung bursting. The final two miles gently down was always quality; indeed the whole session was always quality. So from the Pod on Tuesday, I wallowed in nostalgia and felt quite elated until a bus passed me and sped off into the distance!!! The driver was totally oblivious to the rules of engagement. I shall phone the Head Office when it opens on Monday and will be quite stern about the said drivers lack of compassion towards my trudge. On Wednesday I did the same trudge backwards, not trudging backwards, Blog, but obviously, trudging in the opposite direction. As the camp site was on the flat moorland top above Haworth/Oxenhope, I had fantastic views for miles around as I trudged downhill, through the village of Leeming to pick up my old course before I started my trudge proper! Thursday, I went out onto the moorland behind the camp site; a large flattish area covered in heather. Or, in a normal year, it would have been covered in heather, but this year all that remained of the annual purple carpeting was the dried shrivelled stalks of twigs. Do you member, back in June Blog, when I was up here, I told you about the moorland fires. Well this is where they actually were. I bet the mobile home residents on the site and the caravaners staying there at the time were wetting themselves. If you have ever been up close to a heather fire Blog, and seen the speed of spread and the intense thick smoke produced, you will understand the powerful destructive force of such a fire. And if it manages to ignite the peat, it can smoulder for weeks. The trampled paths on this area of the moorland afforded excellent loops for interval work or fartlek, with or without spikes. Indeed, the paths are so well trodden that I used to be able to run over the moors in the dark winter nights when there was a full moon on a clear night, they were so well marked. It was equivalent to a run on a musty day, easily runable, surprisingly easy to see where to tread. Quite safe. Although if I’d have had a bad fall, tripe and custard puddings wouldn’t have sustained me. I’d have ended up as another preserved body in a bog, Blog.
And on Friday I came back to the homestead to Race. Yes RACE, I kid you not. Race with a capital ‘R’. As I revealed yesterday, I was allowed to trudge in the Warwick University Cross Country Relays. I feel the students did not take the relays in the spirit in which they were organised. No respect. They kept over taking me. These youngsters, I ask you Blog. If they’d have realised what a famous person it was they were passing, I am sure that they would have given me a helping hand over the rough and/or the muddy parts. I shall announce at the start of next year’s relays that they should all either slow down a little or allow some concession for age by letting me trudge over a shorter distance. It’s only right, isn’t it Blog???
                           Colin
P.S. Did get a couple of cards and the odd present for my birthday Blog, although yours hasn’t arrived yet. I shall wait for the postal gentleman tomorrow, Blog, with an air of anticipation.

Saturday 29 October 2011

Very many happy returns Colin

 Dear Blog,
                Woke up this morning expecting a congratulatory hug or a birthday kiss or at least breakfast in bed. Nothing. So I got up. No sign of any birthday cards and there was a distinct lack of piles of packages of presents. Not that I cared. Wife must have hidden them all. How childish. I didn’t search all the downstairs rooms or all the cupboards too thoroughly. Who’s bothered? I couldn’t find any evidence of cards or pressies anywhere. Wife gets up. Still no ‘Happy Birthday’. O.K.. It takes two to tango. No problem. Daughter comes down stairs for breakfast. No birthday greeting from her either. Oh yes, I get it. Conspiring together. Big joke. Typical of them. Take the Michael. Bit childish for grownups to play such games, but I don’t mind. I pretend not to notice the lack of greetings. I’ll play along. They’ll crack first. Porridge and muesli, toast, marmalade and ground coffee times two. Oh comeon now. Lighten up. It is my birthday. Not that I am too bothered. Each year I let it float over me. Others might like to make a great fuss, but I’m not like that. But I expected them to look at least as if they were conspiratorial.
Dishes done. Still no pressies appear. Not a single card either. And. Pushing it a bit now I thought, not that I was too concerned; I am a grown man after all, not a small child. Strange. No phone call from my sister or my mother. But as we only left Yorkshire last night, they must have had a quiet word with each other behind my back. Women ganging together as they are wont so to do. Mother and sister must also be in this silly little charade . Infantile. They probable know that I could not care less but are going along with the pretence to keep my wife happy. The postman gives us a miss. Not that I was particularly waiting for him. Just noticed that his van didn’t stop.
Wife goes shopping, daughter goes computering. This is now becoming ridiculous. A joke is a joke is a joke but I only have a birthday once a year and it is a long wait until the next one. Fair dooes. I suppose I should encourage their little game, go along with them and should show them some concern, give them a hint that it is time to reveal where all those parcels are hidden. But NO. I WILL NOT: they will be the first to admit that it is now a bit of a silly wheeze; a bore. The joke is now on them, not me, for taking this whole episode too far – far too far.
Early lunch because wife and daughter are running as a team in the Warwick University Relays in the afternoon. Wife says that she will give me permission to run in a mixed team if the club is short of a runner. CHINK. She’s starting to crack. So. I read the Guardian while coffeeing. Half way through Simon Hoggart’s little piece, the date catches my eye. October 29th. Saturday October 29th. Whoopsie. Sorry Wife. Sorry daughter. Thought you’d forgotten my birthday. I knew you wouldn’t have really. STILL, the conciliation for me is that I have something to look forward to tomorrow. Not that I was bothered.    
Oh yes Blog, I thought I’d better tell you that your birthday card for me must have been delayed in the post. Never mind. I am sure you must have been very busy with some very important things not to get my card to me in good time. And, do keep my present until you see me next, the charges made by the postal office for heavy parcels these days, is quite ridiculous.
                                    See You Soon.
                                                        Birthday Boy           
*This is my imagination as I have never had breakfast in bed. I hate staying in bed. As a child we used to have to get up early as dad had to leave for his walk to work before 7am and no way was mum going to prepare four separate breakfasts. Working class Yorkshire brekkie means you all have your bread and toast together.

Thursday 27 October 2011

Free ....

Photograph quiz:
Photo no. 55:- Is this a holiday caravan? When did I live here ... and where was it sited??? Who became the live in lodger???

Dear blog,

Great. GREAT. I am feeling great, over the moon. If the race organisers say that I must have run, then I must have run. Now a conundrum. If they say I run and I know that I didn’t run, but I use the ‘false’ evidence to enter next year’s London Marathon as a ‘fast for age vet’, am I guilty of fraud?? After all, I am trying desperately to be honest, but no one will let me. No one will listen. Check the web for these races Blog.

Remember that in the past, the London Marathon people had told me it was impossible for me not to run as me ..... Concerned, I contacted the race organiser at Stafford Council and he promised to phone me back .... has hell frozen over? Have the polar bears turned green with envy? Is the moon a balloon? I am still waiting, but then, Stafford Council have had some more important issues to deal with recently. Interestingly if you do take the trouble to check the races I am supposed to have entered, the Stafford Half Marathon for example, you will notice that I am no longer running for Coventry Godiva on the council results, I have become detached! Another council half marathon nearby, I have become a blank. Interesting or what. And you know what Blog, at the end of the day someone somewhere is going to blame ‘computer error’! Don’t forget you saw it here first. COMPUTER ERROR. The good thing is that my dodgy results are still on that Powerful thingie that THEY control, so I feel morally free and perfectly justified in going public and printing my evidence of the short long leg of the National Road Relay. Free from Grace and Favour or Gaff, as some people say. If, as alleged, that nice Mr Cameroon said to Mr Dandelion Burdoch ‘publish and be damned’, who am I to argue? So, ‘here, here’ says I. But on the other hand, look where it has got him. Mr Dandelion Burdoch I mean, not that nice Mr Cameroon; He has done alright for himself. Perhaps I need to review the situation? I think I need to think it out again. A week of rehab will give me time to mull over the pros and the cons, methinks.

Colin

Most people spend their rehab treatment in the luxury of a clinic, pampered by subserviant grovellers. I will spend my rehab time in a Pod; that is a rich man’s version of a tent or a poor man’s version of a garden hut.

Sunday 23 October 2011

London Marathon 2012 how to run it easy by not running.

Photograph Quiz:
Photo no. 56:- Neither of these stars is Marlon Brando, but who are they? Which one dropped in at the World Championships this year?
Scary Blog,
               I thought I was safe from harassment about exposing the short long National Road Relay leg. I thought I was fire proof. I’m scared now. So they can’t touch me Blog, did I say??? Foolish of me. Stupid of me. I thought I’d cracked it, but THEY are out to crack me. I can tell.  .....but worse ..... they are playing mind games. I may be losing it ....
Proof of my running exploits when I didn’t exploit....

981

94
1:54:01
1:51:45
Nick Hanson

V45
M






982

51
1:54:03
1:52:16

V65
M
66
30.10.44

Coventry
1:52:16
1:52:16
983
158
42
1:54:03
1:51:19
Joanna Hughes

V40
W






984

145
1:54:05
1:53:34
Martin Richards

V40
M






985

95
1:54:11
1:51:42
George Gaye

V45
M






986

146
1:54:11
1:51:31
Mark Smith

V40
M






987

96
1:54:11
1:52:52
Clifford Whiteley

V45
M






988

35
1:54:12
1:51:03
PB
V55
M



Stone Master
1:51:03
1:51:03


As you can see, on March 20th this year I ran the Stafford Half Marathon and finished in a chip time of 1:52:16. Notice that all my personal details are accurate. Scream. Help. Helphelphelphelp. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t there. I KID YOU NOT, Blog. Is it the doppelganger I have mentioned a couple of times in my messages to you earlier this year????? Is it a pressure tactic by those WHO KNOW to stop me revealing all about the short long leg in the National Road Relay. IT GETS SCARIER. Go onto the Stafford Half Marathon web site thingie, bring up there photos and type in my details ..... my name and I’m not there! .... my race number and I’m not there! Go onto the council video of the finish ... type in my number and it shows a finishing clip, but you cannot pick out my number on the finishers ... there is no one like me! ... type in my name and it shows a finishing clip, but there is no one like me. Go to the Power of ten thing, and there you have it ... the same race details. And we all know that that is always accurate. And we all know who operates that, don’t we. THEM. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I am going crazy. Call them off. I’ll destroy the short long stage photos, I won’t say anything about the English Marathon Team Manager taking advantage of his athletes in Amsterdam. Honestly. I won’t. I have forgotten already about the short long stage photos and the English Marathon Team Manager taking advantage of his athletes in Amsterdam. Please Dopple give up torturing me. Waterboard me if you wish, use the thumb screws if you must, but not this mental torture. I thought when you ran the London Marathon a few years back, using my number, it was a mistake. [you can check it out on the official results again if you wish, Blog. All my personal details are correct on the official London Marathon results, as I told you before].

Race
Last Name, First Name
(Sex/Age)
Time
OverAll
Place
Sex Place
Country
London Marathon4/14/02
4:23:53
17924
15148
GBR

As a check, look at the following year.....
Flora London Marathon 2003 Results - Marathon Friday, 21 October 2011 11:19 AM

Position

(Gender)
 
No.
  
Name
 
Age
 
Club
 
Time
3867
(3549)
27829
M 58
COVENTRY GODIVA HARRIERS

03:28:18

If I ran a half marathon when I didn’t but the organisers say this it is not possible to not run when I did, and if I ran a marathon when I didn’t but the organisers say this it is not possible to not run when I did then surely I’m a marked man. Could this be the long goodbye, Blog?
                                                                  Colin    
P.S. You’ve been a good mate. But I’ll try to hang in and write again. Stiff upper lip and all that, what.                                                                         

Friday 21 October 2011

Down hill running, training tips

Dear Blog,
                Can you believe it or can you believe it??? Last night one of the club coaches asked me to help him with his charges. He suggested that I give a little advice to the youngsters about running down hill. I said to him, I’m your man if they wish to know all the nuances about trudging here, there and everywhere but I am not so sure about all this technical stuff. But he insisted; was quite adamant about it. Indeed he seemed a little threatening. So I reluctantly conceded. I didn’t want to upset him too much. I didn’t want my blood spilt on the new clubhouse floor if he turned nasty.
To have asked for my expertise, he must have heard about my coaching qualification. Did you know that I was Certified, Blog? I have been certified for years.
Certificate in coaching, did you know that Blog. So if you want a few gems of tips about coaching, I’m your man.
Certificate in sports injuries, did you know that Blog. I have been certified for years. So if you want a few gems of tips about sports injuries, I’m your man.
 Certificate in sports massage, did you know that Blog. I have been certified for years. So if you want a few gems of tips about sports massage, I’m your man. And I’ve got all my badges from the ABC Minors to say nothing of my scroll for gold panning from Legoland in Denmark.
So there I was, ready to pass on all these pearls of wisdom onto the little swine. Like all good speakers I had prepared a Vis Aid beforehand. To explain the muscular/tendon/skeletal interaction, I had made a muscle/ tendon /skeletal bone Vis Aid from a washing up sponge, a two pieces of shoe lace tied to each end of the washing up sponge and a piece of twig tied to the other end of the shoe laces which I had tied to both ends of the washing up sponge. I explained that the sponge represented the muscle, the shoe laces were the tendons or ligaments and the twigs were the bone where the ligaments were stuck to the bone. With hind sight I think the little lecture would have gone down even better if I had used Adidas shoe laces instead of Nike ones. I also think that the point I was making about the tendons (read shoe laces) would have been a little clearer if I had taken the shoe laces out of the shoes first. But then.
I had them run fast downhill twice, asked them about which muscles ached, showed them three exercises to stretch said muscles, advised them not to train for downhill running on hard surfaces but to train on grass, even on dark nights there are stretches of grass illuminated by street lights, using spiked shoes with screw-in spikes long enough to stop slipping, I hinted about leg speed, explained about perpendicular running to avoid back injury and I even related a true story about how a world record holder for the mile had told me of his preparation for another world mile record on a running machine. I think they were very impressed that I knew the world record holder for the mile on a running machine. I promised that whoever trained the hardest in the remainder of the session would be rewarded by having the honour of polishing my photograph, which is hung in the clubhouse. I then made my excuses and left them to their coach for the rest of the workout while I went for a few downhill trudges on a bit of grass I knew that was illuminated by street lights. I didn’t tell them where it was; I don’t want them getting in the way of my winter trudging, do I Blog?? I bet Cerutty never told Elliott where he kept his best malt. There are limits to this coaching lark, you know.
I do think they were lucky to have the benefit of my help. They must have really enjoyed my talk as I overheard one of the boys asking his friend if he thought I was O.K.; clearly his concern for me was from the mental pressure I had put on myself in preparing such an interesting little lecture. Another of the little girls must have thought I was a foreign coach because she told her friend that what I had said was all double Dutch. Bless.
                                               Colin
P.S. After tea last night, my wife got quite irate when she could not find her washing up sponge. I did not think it quite the right time to tell her that it had become my Vis Aid. Clearly I shall have to pick my time carefully before I reveal that I had lost said sponge on my trudge back to the club house. I think I shall treat her to a brand new washing up sponge. She does deserve these little treats. What is more, I shall not deduct the cost of the sponge from her weekly shopping allowance. I think she will appreciate the thought. I do like to make these gestures to reassure her that our marriage is as fresh as when we took our vows, all those very long years ago.