Monday 30 July 2012

Godiva Awakes

Well now Blog,
  On Friday night I went down to the Coventry University / Cathedral and the incredible firework display, Saturday I watched the Lady Godiva link up with her horse, saw her in the city procession and saw her travel down the A45 from a bridge over the road. Today I saw her through Dunchurch and arrive at Rugby School on the long journey to London for a procession on Sunday… all part of the Cultural Olympiad. Have the Coventry City Council got it right or have the Coventry City Council got it right? The Coventry City Council HAVE GOT IT RIGHT. If you get a chance you must see it Blog. You really must. VITAL. Pick up any photos or videos if you can but see it in the flesh (fibre glass!) if at all possible.
Am I impressed or am I impressed with a capital ‘I’. I AM.
                      Colin

Saturday 28 July 2012

The London Olympic Opening Ceromony

 Dear Blog,
            I managed to find someone with a television set (in colour as welll) so I could watch the Olympic opening ceremony. I expected at least one friend to ask me round but I suppose that they all thought that one of my other friends had already asked me and did not wish to cause embarrassment by having me to make a choice between my different friends. I think the ones I visited were a little surprised when I turned up unannounced at 8:30 in good time to settle in one of their comfortable chairs. It took them ages to answer the door. In fact I was beginning to wonder if they were out. It was only when I climbed the fence and went round the back that I understood why they hadn’t heard me. Both John, his wife and two children were on the kitchen floor. I could hardly see them. They all must have been searching for something they had dropped on the floor. I think they enjoyed my company however, because they kept asking me if I was OK once I had settled and would I be alright finding my way home in the dark. Nice of them to worry but I said that I thought I would be fine. As it was only 8:40 and still light I thought their fore thought rather touching. I did think they were about to ask me to stay on one occasion when they woke me up and remarked how late it was getting. I must have nodded off, all the trudging you know. It was still only 8:55 but the little nap did set me up for the rest of the night. I am not one to complain but it was some time before they asked me if I would like a drink of coffee; I did suggest that a biscuit or three would be nice as well. They asked if I would be quite happy with three so I said that if they were making a sandwich, it would be impolite of me to refuse. I think they put too much mustard on the cold sausage sandwich but I didn’t like to say. I think they suspected however because they were quite worried about how much I was coughing and with my eyes watering so, I must have looked a proper sight. Anyways, I don’t want to bore you with all this Blog, but I am sure you get the picture. I found the ceremony rather long on the whole, I don’t know about you Blog. And all that Beetle stuff was a bit OTT. A bit of Adam Ant would have lightened things up I feel. Not very nice having to remove the grass when all those animals had been cooped up for so long. A bit unhealthy. I won’t say any more but I am sure you get my drift Blog. And all that smoke from those chimneys. I thought that part of London was a smokeless zone? Quite illegal I would have thought. Bit of bad organisation on the part of Mr Danny Boy? And not very healthy for the spectators either. Not very nice for them when they had paid all that money for the tickets. I think that Prince Phillip might have had second thoughts about having had to have had to spend so much of his pension on his night out when the smoke drifted his way; him not long out of hospital. Can’t be too careful. But with all those hospital beds, he must have felt reassured, a home from home? I don’t know what Her Majesty must have thought either. I think when the cameras panned across to her just before the Oath, she looked quite peaky. Mind you abseiling down that rope at her age was a little silly, I thought. It was quite a chilly night after the early rain. The rope must have been rather slippery. What her advisers were doing to allow her to do that is beyond me. All in all with hindsight, I think I would have preferred watching a good film with my friends. A James Bond film, would have been nice? On Her Majesty’s Secret Service?
                                                           Colin        

Friday 27 July 2012

The opening ceremony July 2012

Dear Blog,
                It has arrived at lastl. The waiting is over. The worry is over. After weeks of uncertainty, after ages of wondering if everything would be OK on the night, after the sleepless nights, the time is now, the pain has ceased .... well a few hours ago actually. Yes my back is finally OK and I can trudge with a plus. Trudge with a capital 'T'. Eat your heart out Danny Boy.
                                 Colin

Wednesday 25 July 2012

A bit more Godiva history, and more.

Dear Blog,
      I thought you might be interested in ....

                               Coventry Godiva Harriers – the early years
‘FEW in Coventry and beyond have not heard of the Godiva Harriers, one of the city’s great running clubs. What they might not know is that the club held its first run from the Bull Fields to the Butts on October 5th (ref 1) 1879.
On this day two “hares” wearing high hats ran ahead laying a paper trail  (ref 2) followed by fellow members of the club, the “hounds”.  The members who followed were mainly young watchmakers, one of whom blew a hunting horn, which drew the attention of an enraged farmer. Seeing the paper and the high jinks, the farmer set about him with a muck-spreading fork. Whether that young man ran again is not recorded but in the club minutes of 1880 it was proposed that the “hares” hats should bear an image of a man running and the words “Haste Ye For Home”.’ [Coventry Evening Telegraph Mar 2003]
The details of the early history of Coventry Godiva Harriers seem to be a case of Chinese whispers, spelling mistakes and enthusiastic reporting.
It is valuable to understand the state of the sport at the time of the club’s foundation. Coventry already had at least two established cross country clubs, the Union Harriers who ran out from the Dolphin Inn and The Coventry Harriers based at the Bull’s Head. Other clubs had a brief transitory existence with membership barely reaching a dozen. Competition outside the confines of a particular club did not exist in the winter months; runs were simple social events. Cross country provided the only form of distance running. There were no open races and therefore no prizes. Runners tended to run out with whichever club was offering the best post- race entertainment at their particular hostelry headquarters!! Training did not take place, the Saturday run out being their sole raison d’tre. The season ran from the first week in October to Easter when the athletes went to other summer activity; Godiva runners mostly to cricket, particularly the St Michael’s team for whom some had played football(rugby) before starting with Godiva. Athletics in summer took place on temporary grass tracks of about 350 yards as an integral part of a local garden fete or flower and vegetable show. Running [and cycling] was the only event on offer, all events being handicaps (ref 3), whereby, if the handicapper had done a good job, most runners would be approaching the finish line abreast. From a five years survey in the years before Godiva was formed, there was an average of fourteen such shows within a 10 mile radius of Coventry, hardly any athletes were not local, the only exception being Coleshill and the Hinkley events. Prize values varied to a maximum of £7 fixed nationally in 1881, but with the handicap system, it was very much a lottery as to who the victor might be. Bearing in mind this framework, a nonsense is made of most of the quoted comments regarding the club’s formation. What appears to have happened in the various reports is that a ‘modern’ interpretation has been placed on sport specific words by people who were not part of the sport plus a degree of subsequent embellishment. The occupation of the first twenty members of Godiva included watchmaking, weaving, a cowman, a post office worker, a shop keeper and a soldier; an assortment which offered a degree of sustainability lacking in most local clubs whose members came from a particular employ / pub. With such a diversity, Godiva was able to tap into different social layers within the city’s Great and Good, and was able to access source of funding and backing in kind which provided a platform for future stability.
The introductory cutting was repeated in the 1990s as part of a Ph.D. submission and in the 1970s as part of a Dip. Ed. dissertation.
         “Early Days of Godiva Harriers’ and entitled ‘First Race in Top Hats and Heavy Boots.’                             
In the summer of 1879, a party of young Coventry watchmakers, devotees of all kinds of sport, commenced a discussion on long-distance running (ref 4), and lamented the fact that in this sphere of sport the city lagged far behind its neighbours (ref 5). One of their number, William Cleverley, apprenticed to his watchmaker father [Henry] in the Butts, suggested that they form a club, and he followed this up by inviting a number of local athletes to a meeting at the ‘Sampson and Lion’ in Swanswell Place. With this end in mind. The enthusiastic company decided “to form a club to bring out some long-distance runners as an unpleasant feeling had arisen among our local athletes who did not like to see strangers always winning the long-distance events (ref 6); therefore they would reverse the tables” [Coventry Evening Telegraph Dec 23rd 1943]
half a dozen young watchmakers were talking of the Thames Hare and Hounds (ref 7) at the top of the Butts, … they adjourned to the Russell Arms to talk it over. They so decided but some not liking {did not like} the idea of starting from a Pub they got permission to use the Pavilion in the Bullfields …, At the opening run, about a dozen turned up; they were a motley crew, some wore light knickers with blue helmets (ref 8), some with trousers turned up (ref 9) and heavy boots (ref 10) …. They made their way to Earlsdon round Canley, Gibet Hill down Warwick Road home. The run was a great success and the membership was soon doubled, so they decided to get some new Headquarters. They secured dressing rooms at the ‘Lamp Tavern’ in Market Street, where all runs started and finished for several years. [ Freddy Smalley, the first trustee of the club in 1881.]
The birth of the Godiva Harriers was largely attributed to the efforts of the well known citizen of Market Street, Mr William Cleverley. During the latter part of 1879, Mr Cleverley requested a few athletes to attend a meeting at the Sampson and Lion Swanswell Place, the landlord being Mr H.Keene. Among those present at this inaugural gathering was William Cleverley, Charles Smith, Charles Seymour, James Miles and Alfred Dormer. The outcome of that meeting was a move to place Coventry on the map, so to speak. The frequent raids of strangers to the city, returning all the prizes was resented, and the object adopted in 1879 was the ‘Cultivation of local talent to enable athletes residing in the old city to compete more successfully’ …. The Godiva’s first run on Saturday afternoon of October 5th 1879, aroused a great deal of excitement. A farmer objected to the ‘hares’ crossing his land, and an altercation followed, but since those days they have been able to follow their pursuits without interference. [Walter J Harris as ‘Historian’ Midland Daily Telegraph Oct 1933]
During the latter part of the summer in the year of 1879 – Mr William Cleverley requested a few athletes to attend a meeting at the Sampson and Lion Swanswell Place (proprietor Mr H.Herne) to endeavour to form a club, which  was succeeded, afterwards was formally called the Godiva Harriers (Messes Wm Cleverley, Chas Smith, Chas Seymour, Joes Miles and Alfd Dormer whom are members at the present time attended the meeting) (ref 11) Likewise endeavour to bring out some long distance runners. As an unpleasant feeling arose amongst our local Athletes. What did not like to see the strangers always winning the long distance races. And they therefore determined to reverse the table, which they have done since the club has been in vogued. The first run was Saturday October 5th (ref 1)1879. Started at 3.0pm from the pavilion in the Bullfield. This run promoted a great excitement, the hares having traversed some trespass land, in the occupation of Mr Warden. A farmer residing near Earlsdon. He presently followed the pack, on proceeding across some fields attacted one of the runners near the Railway station, and violently struck with his stick. There being a great number of people passing at the time, who had been to witness the Grand Bicycle Contest on the Athletic Ground, Warwick Road. A crowd quickly assembled, began hissing him until he got near the Bullfield when they commenced to throw stones, turfs and other missiles, that could be got holt of, his cork hat was terribly disfigured. The road and side was a complete mess, when the crowd had disappeared. Before starting the pavilion was locked up, the key was given up to a friend. Their clothes remained in the pavilion, until such time the police had gone, were then conveyed to them by a few friends they all met on the following Saturday for another run, the hares taking us along the lane at the side of his house but nothing more was heard of it after. [Strong evidence suggests it was written by Chas Smith in 1900]
If journalistic licence had caused muddle about the circumstances of the club’s foundation, then the confusion surrounding the actual date that Godiva came into existence seems to be entirely the result of the self-interests of a few Godiva officials who ‘brought the club into disrepute’. Although Coventry Godiva Harriers was founded 136 years ago in 1879 for very many years there was a belief ( then an acrimonious dispute), that the actual foundation date was 1870 (ref 12). This belief was so entrenched within sections of the club that the Golden Jubilee was celebrated in 1920, and by a further celebration for the Diamond Jubilee anniversary in 1930 at the White Lion Hotel. Until the late 1960s, the club blazer badges and Godiva vest badges were adorned with the legend ‘Founded in 1870’. All club medals, trophies and plaques and club notepaper carried the same claim; so did the membership forms in the early years of the twentieth century.
Although formal sections were not adopted until the 1930s for ease of administration, Godiva, in the first ninety years of existence was a competitive cycling and a competitive walking club besides catering for runners, two of our Olympians being walkers. With the gradual emancipation of women, separate sections for women athletes, women cyclists and women walkers was also incorporated into the club structure.
In Olympic year it is worth noting that Godiva have provided at least one athlete to every Olympic Games since WW11, with the exception of 1996, including more Olympic marathon places than any other Great Britain club, with Bas Heatley’s 1964 silver medal in Tokyo being the best individual performance; gold was won by sprinter Marlon Devonish as part of a G.B. relay squad.
References: (1) October 5th was a Sunday, the first run was the day before (4th) as stated in the original minute book. Athletics on a Sunday was only instituted as a result of the jogging boom in the late 1970s when road safety considerations became paramount and large fields of competitors forced race organisers to adopt road closures.   (2) Paper trails required organisation and cost [off cuts of paper for the trail, sacks to carry same]. Most probably a pack run with only a dozen runners.   (3) All races were running events, very rarely is a field event mentioned in programmes / results of the time. A handicap race was organised so that an athlete started at a ‘mark’ which reflected his ability. If he won, he was pulled back and had to run further in his next event, the losers gaining a distance and ran a lesser distance the next time out. We are talking in terms of only a few yards. All races for males. To improve their handicap, some runners did not try very hard, pulled up or ran in weighted shoes. Betting was illegal but bookmakers were encouraged to attend as part of the attraction for the spectators …. And of course athletes performed according to how they might benefit from the odds placed on them!! Winning was a lottery, making a nonsense of the primary claim made for the club’s foundation.   (4) The only form of long distance running, with the exception of pedestrianism, was cross country in the winter months when no prizes were given. Nothing further than a mile in the fetes.   (5) The only clubs of substance within a hundred miles were Birchfield Harriers and Moseley Harriers in Birmingham, both founded two years before Godiva.   (6) Statistically this does not stack up. The only local races in the summer were at fetes, galas, flower shows etc. and were all handicaps where by anyone in the field should be capable of winning, no matter what their ability. Analysis of published results of the previous 5 years (’74 –’79) shows few winners from further afield than 10 miles. [The same was not true of cycle events held at the same meetings] Only Coleshill and Hinkley attracted runners from outside the immediate area. In winter there was only cross country  events promoted by clubs solely for their own members to give some interest and variation to the Saturday afternoon run.   (7) Schools and Universities apart, the Thames Hare and Hounds were the first established athletic club in the country and was one of the reasons for the ‘adjustment’ of the club foundation date.   (8) Not head gear but trimming on the shorts similar to the kit worn by Oxbridge athletes today … for ‘helmets’ read ‘hemlets’!!   (9) Probably ‘long john’ type shorts as can be seen in the club’s first photograph.   (10) Running shoes available were spikes, rubbers, studs with straps or high sided ankle rubbers aka boots .   (11) Members numbered 1, 2, 3, 5 and 22 respectively in the original minute book.   (12) ‘0’ and ‘9’ are not too dissimilar for a genuine mistake to be made?  
    
                                           Colin
P.S. I have discovered my 'Six Marathon Tips' in cartoons which I shall try to start to send you tomorrow.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Athletic Sponsorship

Dear Blog,
    I am deafened by the silence concerning the fantastic scarecrows at the end of my drive. My wife says to accept defeat with good grace, so I will do as I am told and concede that someone else must have been chosen in error. I am not mad about the decision. I am bloody furious. Still say la vie, as they dit. Did you hear on the wireless yesterday Blog, that the Olympic committee are insisting that children attending some official function or other have to wear either white unmarked plimsolls or trainers made by one of the Olympic sponsors, Adidas. Interesting. It reminds me of two events ….. I am supposed to be acting as a mentor for some children at an Olympic event. Why Lord Coe asked me to attend the wrestling is quite beyond me. He must have heard about one of my Inter County races which I shall tell you about some time, Blog .. if I remember. I shall have to investigate this wrestling lark in case one of the bright sparks dares to ask me a question. If I don’t know the answer I shall adopt my teaching technique ‘Come in. Sit down. Shut up. Get your books out. Start work.’ Never fails!!!!! And the other incident I am reminded of is when I was sponsored ….. incidentally, I was a sponsored athlete from 1970 to 1995, meaning that during that time span, I never had to buy shoes, kit, tracksuits etc.. Blog, I kid you not. Must be a world record???? A quarter of a century. 25 years. Not with the same sponsor of course, but 25 years. Impressed Blog?? Impressed with a capital ‘I’ no doubt???? I do remember that Adidas produced a superb road racing shoe which for some reason, never went into production. The shoe was years ahead of its time. I had several pairs. I never saw anyone else with a pair, though no doubt there must have been. When the next sponsor came along, their racing shoe wasn’t a patch on my Adidas racer. So what I did was to strip the three Adidas stripes off the racers and paint on the new sponsor’s logo. Made a good job of it. No problem ….. Until …. A few months later I lined up for a rather important ‘10’ mile race wearing my adapted racing shoes and next to me on the start grid was the U.K. rep for Adidas. THE top man. ‘Nice pair of shoes Colin’ as we set off from the start. We had a laugh about it after the race!!!
If I take the kids to the wrestling, do I have to go in wrestling (read ‘swimming’) trunks?? Must remember to telephone Seb about it.
                                             Colin
P.S. Tiny Tims Children’s Centre, the charity for disable children, still has a place available for the Great North Run if you are interested.

Monday 16 July 2012

Northbrook 10km 2012 won by Godiva Harrier

So far Blog I have stayed in and still no sign of a media rush to interview me. I have had no official confirmation of which was the winning entry for the Allesley Village Festival Scarecrow Competition and the word on the street is that the Washbrook Scout Hut has won but as the Washbrook Scout Hut sounds pretty much like the Washbrook Sport Academy, I think we both know who the actual Victor is, don’t we Blog. Wink Wink. If the plaudits and awards don’t come my way and do bysome remote chance go to the scout hut, then there will have to be some serious answers to some serious questions I can tell you Blog.Yesterday was the Northbrook 10 kilometres road race which went past the end of the driveway to the finish just near the scout hut. (hint nod wink) The feed station for the running race was just up the Lane at three kilometres as the runners headed out to Corley. It was manned by the scouts from the scout hut. (wink wink) The money raised from the race and other village festival events go to charity and one charity to benefit is the scout hut, wink wink. So if the afore mention scout hut wins a certain competition, I shall be down into town tomorrow on the first pensioner concession bus, I shall be into the offices of one of these ‘no fee no win’ johnies and I shall be asking some searching questions about what they will be doing to launch their investigation into this scarecrow malarkey. If I get no joy from them, it will be the Citizens Advice Bureau, my local councillor, then my M.P., then House of Lords and finally the European Equal Rights Commission. If I still receive no satisfaction, I shall write a stiff note to that nice Mr Cameroon and send a copy to the News of the World, as I believe the newspaper has a reputation for campaigning on behalf of the underdog. As you know me Blog, I am not the kind of person to bear a grudge nor is it because I am concerned about winning or not winning the scarecrow competition but something smells fishy if the scout hut wins and it won’t be because the River Sherbourne has flooded again from this last downpour of rain overnight. Justice will no doubt will out. Now because I cannot concentrate on my trudge, I shall pop into the gym and trudge on the newly acquired treadmill to the sound of music. That is my grammar phone, not the film. And I will also be able to hear the media turn up when they arrive.
                                         Colin
P.S. Before I put them on e-bay with a modest starting price with no reserve, I thought I would give you first refusal Blog of the eight scarecrows I have for sale, all sold as seen, all used only once. If you only want seven, I shall not be offended Blog.
P.P.S. If the rumours about the Scout Hut are true then the vicar has had his chips, there will be no hoi polloi from the village treading on  my lawns later this summer at the local church fete, I’ll tell you that for nowt Blog. We had a deal, wink wink, with a capital ‘W’.   

Thursday 12 July 2012

Olympic gold equals scarecrow gold

Date line:- Thursday
Time line: 2:00pm
Head line:- I am depressed Blog.
       Am I worried Blog? Yes I am. Am I depressed Blog? Yes I am. Am I lacking focus Blog? Yes I am. The quality of my trudging is giving me much cause for concern - I am unable to concentrate fully. It is now Thursday and I have heard nothing from the Village Committee about me winning the Scarecrow Competition at this year’s Allesley Village Festival. Not a dickie bird. I had expected by now that the press would have been clamouring at the estate gates wanting an interview and wanting my presence at the scarecrow display for a photographic shoot. I have purposely stayed in all week in anticipation of the media interest. I have been wearing my Olympic suit and tie since Sunday afternoon so that there would be no delay in posing for a photo shot; I have to confess Blog that I am beginning to smell a little after wearing the same clothes all week. I do hope the press will be here tomorrow otherwise I may take things in hand and phone the editor myself. And have a shower. I shall explain to the editor that I have not actually received confirmation of my being the outright winner of the Scarecrow Competition at this year’s Allesley Village Festival, but as my display is so superior, they might like to do an interview now in anticipation of the inevitable, just to save everyone being inconvenienced next week.
I am starting to regret in a serious way, allowing the staff to organise this display. They are doing nothing by way of maintenance of the display. With all the rain we have had, Paula’s tissues and toilet roll have to be changed regularly every day as they get soaking wet. The loo rolls are costing me a fortune. I never realised that they cost so much. I think I shall have to have words with my wife on the subject of toilet roll expense and suggest we go back to using torn up squares of the ‘Daily Mirror’ just as we did as children. We did Blog, I kid you not. And another thing Blog, I overheard a small child telling her mother that the Tom Daley scarecrow was rubbish. Rubbish. Don’t they teach them respect at schools nowadays Blog. Rubbish indeed. A clip round the earhole I should think would be in order Blog?
I think I have told you before Blog that Coventry Council operate a coloured dustbin lid in tyheri refuse collection service. Green lid for house hold waste, brown for compost waste and blue for bottles, plastic and paper; the blue and brown are emptied on alternate weeks, the green every week. This week was brown bin week. Of course if you look closely at the scarecrow pictures I sent you Blog, you will see that Rita is using the brown bin for her synchronised swim display. Well, it was lucky I was down at the gate this morning Blog, checking to see if the press were actually coming to interview me in case they had got misdirected, when the refuse men turned up with their lorry. In normal circumstances I would not have social intercourse with the likes of them but they tried to empty my brown lidded bin, the one from which Rita’s legs were clearly protruding. I said to them to steady on, that the brown bin was part of my scarecrow display in the Allesley Village Festival Scarecrow Competition. They said that they did not care if the bin was part of the scarecrow display in the Allesley Village Festival Scarecrow Competition or not; it was brown bin day and brown bin day meant that brown bins had to be emptied whether Rita’s legs were sticking up or Rita’s legs were sticking down, it made no difference. I asked them if they knew who I was and one of them said was I Rita’s husband and the others in the dustcart cab all fell about laughing. I need not tell you Blog, that I did not join in their laughter. I did not regard the comment as at all amusing. As they were laughing and before they could react, I grabbed the bin and dashed up the driveway towards the Mansion. I was worried about Rita’s legs as they were waving around in a most undignified way. I was quite embarrassed for those young men in the dustcart. However I was not deterred and I shouted at them that if they tried to follow me I would have them arrested and taken to court for trespass. It had the desired effect, and they drove off, for some reason gesturing to me that it was two o’clock. Clearly they were trying to be amusing as it was not yet 10 o’clock in the morning.
I shall now go and find the telephone number of the local paper’s editor so that I can communicate with him tomorrow as soon as the newspaper office opens.
                              Colin   

Sunday 8 July 2012

Andy Murrey's Wimbledon Result part 2

Sorry Blog, I didn't quite have time to finish my letter to you. The remaining photographs hadn't dried in time for me to catch the last post, so dam the expense of another stamp, here are the rest!!!
‘Marathon runner hits the wall at 20 miles.’ For 20 miles read 32 kilometres Blog.
Not much of a crowd if you ask me; but at least my staff were PC in using different ethnic skin colours. Well done staff. I must remember to put a little congratulatory note into their next wage packet.
‘Paula was relieved when she finished’, there’s a hole in the bucket she’s sat on, I shall tell staff tomorrow that there’s a hole in the bucket and they should mend it, for Paula, for Paula. They should mend it. Mend it.
Tom Daley's chance of a diving gold medal were not helped when he decided to build his own diving pool at the side of the road.
This particular photograph was shot in the morning at first light, otherwise I would not have got the scarecrows in as the cars would have been blocking the view and spoiling the whole composition and ruining the sense of ambiance I was trying to create with the tones of light in the crisp early morning air. (You can just see the Gatehouse at the end of the road) 
                                             Colin .... again.
  

Murrey's Wimbledon Result 2012


Sunday 2pm:- I’ll tell you what Blog, when I gave permission to the estate staff to mount a scarecrow display at the Gatehouse for the Allesley Village Festival, I certainly didn’t anticipate that my estate workers would take such advantage of my offer. They have gone rather over board methinks with this ‘The Olympics’ theme. When I went for my morning trudge yesterday, I nearly got knocked down by the traffic rushing to my Gatehouse to see the scarecrow display … and this was at 7am so you can imagine the chaos that had ensued by 10 o’clock. It was gridlocked in the Lane all Saturday and this morning after trudging I had to walk the last half mile back down the Lane to the entrance to my estate as the cars were totally jammed. Jammed solid, Blog. Jammed with a capital ‘J’. Drivers were irate. Blog, I kid you not. I could see the situation turning nasty if they could not view all the scarecrows fairly soon. So to help calm the situation, after showering and having a lightly poached egg on toast and a couple of cups of rather strong coffee, I sent a couple of my staff down the driveway to the Gatehouse to make tea and coffee for the stranded motorists in exchange for a small donation to the charity which supports disable children, Tiny Tims Children’s Centre. At lunchtime (12 o’clock GMT), an emergency meeting of the Coventry Council’s Traffic Management Committee was convened to enact a local bylaw which would enable the council to instigate immediately measures to deal with the traffic in the Lane. By 5 minutes past noon the Council had an emergency one way system in place and had called upon the local village police offices to manage the traffic flow. An outrider was stationed at the top of the Lane to prohibit access for vehicular vehicles and an Incident Room was set up in the form of a trailer was positioned at the bottom of the Lane to deal with complaints from irate motorists wanting to view the scarecrows at my estate Gatehouse. Local 2-way traffic for residents was exempt from the traffic banning order. As I am the only resident in the Lane, I am alright Jack. The police decided that waiting time for viewing the scarecrows at my estate Gatehouse was to be limited to 12 minutes with a break for coffee included. In the meantime I did a little trudge into the village and bought some bickies for the drivers stuck in the jam, I felt it was the least I could do. I levied a charge for a single biscuit of 50p which I thought was reasonable in the circumstances; after all it was my second trudge of the day. To demonstrate to the viewing public that I was in tune with their feelings of admiration of the work done by my employees in creating such a fine display, I went out personally myself to take some photographs of the scarecrows. Now they have been developed, I am enclosing a copy for you to admire Blog. I do not know yet when the judging will take place or when I will be presented with the winner’s award. I will let you know Blog.
This is part of Mr Cameroon’s friend, Mr Go’s attempt to lift the academic standards and return to the preferred values of privilege and patronage. Fees are quite reasonable and payable into my Bahamian off shore account.
I think this is rather clever because my head gardener was telling me that the staff had half a scarecrow left, so they stuck it in a Sainsbury’s basket for a boat and made a paddle, so in this case he had a paddle but didn’t have a creek. I didn’t like to ask him what this Sainsbury basket thing is all about. Some sort of staff in-joke I expect.
The caption for this read ‘Rita made certain that she would do well in the individual synchronised swimming event’. It took place at the Allesley Swimming Public Baths.
Since I took this photograph, a member of the public has taken pity on the girl hurdler and given her a pair of old puma spikes. Between you and me Blog, I reckon they will fit me when all tis scarecrow lark is over.
No idea what the cost is, but if he thinks he can come onto my land and make a few quids, he has another think coming. 50% with concessions or I shall summon the constable from the top of the Lane to come and sort him out.
‘Sir Chris Hoy found this race rather taxing’. Taxing. Very good. Wink, wink.
‘David Bedford didn’t win an Olympic medal because he forgot to phone a friend’. I shared a room with Dave at the 1972 Olympics and he was always on the phone. No mobiles in those days, it was put four deutschmarks in the slot and press button ‘B’.
Fred had spent most evenings and every weekend in the pub getting into tip top condition for the Olympics.’ I do have some stupid staff, he looks more like a George than a Fred?
                                                          Colin 

Friday 6 July 2012

School Sports

Dear Blog,
Did I mention that I went to watch my granddaughter’s sports last week and my grandson’s this week? The former’s sports followed the same format as last year. If you recall when I wrote to you at the time, that the event was criticised in the local press because it did not follow the traditional routine practiced by schools for generations, no ‘proper’ races as such, but a variety of events which to the writer had no sense or purpose. The traditional races were no longer run. Needless to say I wrote a letter to the local newspaper pointing out that the pupils had a dozen events to complete throughout the afternoon, all involving strenuous activity and covert competition … and more importantly, the children enjoyed what they were doing. After all, ‘traditional events’ are those which were in vogue at some distant time in the past. It would have been just as valid to have adopted traditional events such a peanut pushing with the nose, handstand racing or four legged races rather than trying to get as high as possible using a bendy stick, or chucking a cannon ball about which is what we do now; and further to my argument, traditional Olympic events such as standing long jump, putting the weight for height or throwing the 56lb shot haven’t survived. The journalist who was so critical of the school’s policy towards sports day seems to have departed the local rag; I do hope that I had some small hand in his relocation. Anyways …. I was flattered on Monday to be invited into the school to present the sports day prizes, the categories were not only for team physical prowess but for various attitudes shown by the children during the afternoon, determination, enthusiasm, self-belief etc. When asked to attend, I was told that the school also hoped to have an Olympic Torch Bearer to be in attendance with a torch. Now asking two people to perform a similar task at events such as speech day, sports day presentation etc. is a recipe for disaster. Without prior cooperation, it is often an embarrassment for all concerned. Having witnessed some of the torchbearers, I went into school on Monday in my posh Olympic uniform, full of foreboding, not least because of the nagging question as to how the school had obtained the services of a torch bearer so soon after the event, the relay tasking place locally leaving Coventry that morning, having arrived the previous evening. I tried to prepare for the looming calamity by trying to think what I might speak to the pupils about if the other invited guest had bored them because they were not used to talking to young children as a group. Flexibility Colin, flexibility. Lateral thinking Colin, lateral thinking. Waiting in school reception, I could just make out the torchbearer signing in at the office; it was only when she came through the door that I saw that it was Sheila Carey, Olympian from 1968 and 1972, and club mate at Godiva Harriers!!! She had taught at a special school for many years. Needless to say we knew each other. So comment that the morning presentation went well is an understatement. She talked about Olympic sport, I talked about the children’s’ sports … then Sheila had each class line up and pass the torch to each other relay fashion, along the line. Brilliant. Each pupil having the memory of holding a real Olympic torch. Brilliant. Two Olympians in a small school at the same time. Unique in Coventry?? The only downside was that parents weren’t invited. They would have been impressed Blog; Impressed with a capital ‘I’. After assembly, we both went to talk to the reception class which was rather sweet … again it went very well indeed.
At my grandson’s sports day, despite being warned to be less competitive, the assistants pushing the wheelchairs showed more competitive spirit than was witnessed at last week’s European Championships. I swear thatsome of those wheelchairs were on a single wheel, screeching round the cones in the school yard. The skill in the beanbag relay was impressive, but the parents doing the welly wanging had not been doing any serious training judging by the distances thrown. An opening for me to do some coaching for future events methinks?
How’s my trudging going I hear you ask, Blog. Well I shall report next time how I got on in a couple of treadmill sessions. I suppose I have told you about my treadmill experiences Blog? Investigations for a chest problem, I was required to do a treadmill run for a period of time as fast as the machine would go at maximum incline at the local hospital. The specialist admitted that the results only went to show that as a trained athlete I was in the 99.5% percentile and no conclusions could be drawn as there was insufficient data available from that section of the population to determine whether a problem existed or not!!!!!!!!! GREAT!!!!!! My other story dates from the time when running machines were making their debut on the world market back in the 60s. There was a craze to adopt record achievements on them; world record 800 metres, fastest ever 440 yards etc. and the quest to become the first 4 minute miler. Derek Ibbotson, Olympic medallist and former world record holder for the mile, set at the White City I think, told me that the secret of tread mill running was to set the speed faster than you could run, or if you wanted to beak a record, set the machine at record breaking speed and then run fast, exaggerating and over striding but with the aim of keeping off the ground as long as possible on each stride …. In other words, literally letting the machine take the strain, letting the treadmill do the work! Now is that clever, or is that clever? Do you remember Blog that another all-consuming craze at that time was parlaff / parloff / parlauf running. Or are you too young? And the discussion as to which was the most effective in races, to do 220 reps with a jog across the middle of the track or to do 440s with a 440 recovery. Now that was hard training Blog. Hard with a capital ‘H’. …. Shall I say more in my next letter Blog??? Or am I boring????
Now I have got to pop down to the estate workshops to see how the final preparations for this village scarecrow competition are progressing.
                                       Colin

Monday 2 July 2012

The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Marathon

Dear Blog,
                Did you see the arrival of the Olympic Flame in Coventry tonight? I do find it a little sad that an opportunity was missed by not giving every leg of the local journey of the Olympic Flame to the citizens of Coventry. Also the crowds, the enthusiasm and the interest was large enough to afford an extension of the route by a mile or so, to offer many ordinary people of the city a once in a life time experience. A mere mile and a half relay is rather pathetic for such an event, perhaps the organisers were surprised at the turn out by Coventry people or was it another cockup like the ticket allocation fiasco?
It did bring back a few memories of my Olympic Marathon. As you know Blog, the word Marathon is now the generic name for the 26 miles 385 yards [42.3 kilometres to you Blog]. This was not always so Blog. You might know my dear Blog that the Olympics came into existence from the enthusiasm of Baron de Coubertin who according to some sources was inspired after a visit to Much Wenlock in Shropshire, England. Much Wenlock had had its own Olympics for years before the first modern Olympics emerged in 1896. Historical sources claim that Baron de Coubertin met with the local Much Wenlock Olympic inspiration Doctor William Penny Brookes and was impressed by the Olympic ideal. NOW. If Baron de Coubertin had not turned to the East and travelled 2500 miles to Greece to stage the first modern Olympic Games, but he, as a young man had gone West for a mere 25 miles he would have ended up across the Welsh border. The first modern Olympic Games might have been stage in Wales instead of Greece! Blog, I kid you not. Instead of Athens, Blaenau Ffestiniog might have become THE Olympic City. And the very first Olympic Marathon, instead of running from Marathon to Athens over the Greek hills might have run from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to Blaenau Ffestiniog over the Welsh hills. As I wrote at the start of my little message to you Blog, Marathon is the generic word for the event; now part of the language and understood by all. In fact it started out life at the first Olympics as ‘The long distance road race from the village of Marathon to the city of Athens’ which was a little tiresome for the newspaper type setters at the newspapers of the time so it became ‘The distance road race from the village of Marathon to the city of Athens’ and then ‘The road race from the village of Marathon to the city of Athens’ followed over time by ‘The race from the village of Marathon to the city of Athens’ and a few years later ‘The race from Marathon to the city of Athens’ and then ‘The race from Marathon to Athens’, and finally ‘The Marathon’; but if Baron de Coubertin as a young man had gone West to Wales instead of East to Greece it might have been a completely different story. In fact it might have started out life at the first Olympics as ‘The long distance road race from the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to town of Blaenau Ffestiniog’ which would have been a little tiresome for the newspaper type setters at the newspapers of the time so it would have become ‘The distance road race from the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to town of Blaenau Ffestiniog’ and then ‘The road race from the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to town of Blaenau Ffestiniog’ followed later by ‘The race from the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to town of Blaenau Ffestiniog’ and over time ‘The race from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to town of Blaenau Ffestiniog’ and then ‘The race from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to Blaenau Ffestiniog’, and finally ‘The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch’. Everyone would now be talking about doing a Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Somehow The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch doesn’t have the same poetic ring as The Marathon. “What time did you do in the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?”, “what was your finishing position in this year’s Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?”, “How much money are you hoping to raise for charity in this year’s Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?” “What’s your p.b. for the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?” The same would no doubt have applied if Baron De Coubertin had caught a train South for 90 miles and ended up in London. The London Olympics???? No way. The London Marathon, doesn’t sound quite right? Are you doing the London this year? How stupid can you get? No it’s a good thing Baron de Coubertin went on his summer package holiday tour to Greece. One thing for sure Blog, the London thing would never have caught on, whereas I think that the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch  might have just caught the imagination of the joggers with the right amount of publicity and with Dai the red socks Bedford Boyo as race director. What do you think, Blog??
                                                    Colin

Sunday 1 July 2012

Scarecrow Festival

Photographic Quiz:
Photo no. 110:- Name the four people on this photo? What event and date? And where?
Dearest Blog,
           I hope you are well and deeply concerned about my back …. Well I can tell you that I spent the whole of last night horizontal – the first time for over a month; and what is more I didn’t have to scream out in pain when I got up!!!!!!!!!!! The downside is that it was on the living room floor; bed is the next giant step for recovery, sleeping is the leap forward.
Next week is the Annual Festival in the village. Some of my estate workers had the temerity to ask if I would give permission for them to use part of my country seat to stage their entry for the village Scarecrow Competition. The Scarecrow Competition has ‘The Olympics’ as the theme and a large Cup will be given to the best display. I said I didn’t want every Tom or Dick or even Harry from the village tramping over my well-tended lawns. Then I saw the look of pained disappointment on their little faces and I felt a little guilty. Just a little, mind you Blog. So I relented. I don’t want to appear unreasonable so I told them they could use the patch of grass down in front of the Lodge as long as they kept on the other side of the security gates. Their little faces lit up. I felt a warm glow inside and then realised the cigarette stub in my pocket had caught fire and my pocket was smoking! Then I had an uncomfortable  feeling that I had just made a big mistake … one of them asked if they might have a bale of straw to use to stuff their scarecrow. I was a little taken aback, I can tell you. I don’t want to appear unreasonable so I told him that it didn’t just grow on trees. And he said he knew that because he had harvested it himself last autumn. I scrutinised him closely but could not tell if he was taking the proverbial Michael or not; I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I told him that bales cost £3 to the general public type person but I would loan him and his village friends a couple of bales if they brought them back when they had unstuffed the scarecrows after the festival had finished. I did stipulate however that all the scarecrow stuffers had to be estate workers, I wasn’t prepared to subsidise the whole village dudies! I also said that I expected nothing short of victory and that they might adopt the Olympic Spirit in the Scarecrow Competition where it is the winning that counts and not the taking part. I think they got the message. I don’t think a threat to dock their wages in the event of a defeat would have been productive as it might have dampened their enthusiasm. As I said the Vicar later that day, I was really interested in who would come second or third in the competition but I was sure that, as Chief Judge, he would ensure a fair competition with no favouritism shown although I did say that I thought the estate workers would do exceptionally well and I did feel obliged to point out to him that the Church Fete would be taking place next month and that I thought that he might want to ask me if he could my extensive lawns again for his event. I did not feel that it was necessary to dot the ‘i’s and cross the ‘t’s, a nod and a wink in his direction seemed to hit the spot. I shall send you some pickies of the winning entries Blog. Something for you to look forward to!
Did it rain / sleet / hail yesterday Blog, or did it rain / sleet / hail yesterday? June. JUNE! And the wind? Incredeeeeeeeble. Niver seen owt like it. The orchard was flooded, the vegetable garden was under two feet [60 centimetres to you Blog] of water, the extensive lawns covered with a slimy film of mud, the greenhouse floors were under water and the Estate’s machine storage facility was awash; the hail had drilled holes in the plastic roofing of the cold frames. Blog, I kid you not. All in all, a mess. A mess with a capital ‘M’. Those insurance johnnies had better cough up, I’ll tell you Blog. Some quids will be needed for all the repair work needed. It is bad enough to have lost all the plums, pears, red and black currents and damsons from that late frost we had in May. And now this; at least the apples and strawberries have done well this season. Have I asked you before Blog … have you heard a cuckoo this year?? I haven’t. And another thing, have you noticed how all the hawthorn trees and bushes are pink? Not a suggestion of pink but, plainly, distinctly pink with a capital ‘P-I-N-K’. It’s that Chernobyl thing I mentioned before.
                         Be with you Blog.
                                               Colin