UK City of Culture  (Decision December 7th 2017)

Photograph no. m.e.:-

Question:-  Look at the mill in the distance. The workers who slaved there didn't get their fingers burned, but something else happened to them ....WHAT did happen to their fingers???? Now look at the mill pond. In the hot summers in the days of yore, who used to dive and swim in the water??? Who else joined me??? How old was I??

Dear  Blog,  

                In keeping with Coventry winning THE CITY OF CULTURE BID' ten minutes ago I shall henceforth refer to the local Yokels from the village as Plebeians, not your Plebs, but your actual Plebeians. 'Plebs' is a bit crude It might have been alright and proper to use it 12 minutes ago, but not now. Not now we have been cultuwerd. Would you therefore use all the communications systems you have (I refer to your i-wotsits and i-things) to highlight this fact. You can tell them that they may refer to me as 'Sir' as per usual as I think 'Your Majesty' is a bit premature and OTT, don't you Blog??? A bit nearer your actual starting time, perhaps would be more in keeping. That doesn't mean to say that the chaps should stop their habit of bowing when I pass them on my estate, nor the chapesses from curtseying; pointless in causing them needless stress by changing the accepted practice of decades, nay, generations. They have enough problems coping with their boring lives as it is. But that has all changed as of 15 minutes ago.

                Cultured, that's me through and through. Probably why Coventry won the bid. Those Judge Walla's knew I had been exiled to this God Forsaken City some time ago, so they wondered what they could do to humour me and they came up with this Culture Wheeze. I kid you not Blog, when I say that I don't think I could have had a much better idea if I had tried!

                 One also expects increased civility from you as well Blog. I shall be keeping a close eye on your attitude Blog and with the other one, I shall watch out for any sarcasm coming from your direction. Blog I kid you not.

                I shall close now and tune into the wireless and listen in the a bit of Culture on Radio 3 to get used to all this mularky, Rackmaninuff, Bark and Sherbert and all their mates., me thinks wot???

                           Chow,

                                          Colin