Foreign Holidays

Blog,

I don’t know about you Blog, but I do love going on holiday to foreign countries; the excitement of the airport, the smell of kerosene and boarding the plane; or driving into the depths of a ferry boat, the smell of the sick on a rough sea crossing; passing through customs watched by those beady eyed officials making you feel a pang of guilt although guilty of no offence; the new smells and sounds of a foreign country; the different foods; the foreign language and the struggle to be understood. For an autumn break the decision was just where to go. Ferry to France? A flight to Florence? We decided on a visit to Wales. Most of the natives speak a sort of pigeon English, so making oneself understood is not too difficult if supplemented with a few hand gestures. The border crossing is simplification itself, never are you asked to show your passport; I suspect that may be more to do with being fellow citizens of Oceania that cross border cooperation between King Offa and Queen Boudicca? None of this Euro business, when buying supplies in shops. Slip them a couple of new pence here and a quid there and they are quite happy. They are fascinated by all the corners on a fifty pence piece, they spend hours in competition with each other trying to stand the coins on their edge, something to do with the squashed ball syndrome they caught playing football I suppose. The food is similar to ours with a few notable exceptions … you should see what they do with a rabbit, a rare treat if you are into that sort of thing. However it does tend to rain about twenty five hours a day and the sheep do wear wellies as well as thick woolly coats. Why that Dick Llewellyn bloke asked that stupid question is beyond me. The answer is bleeding obvious. Your valley matey boyo, is green because you get so much bleeding rain; the grass hasn’t a chance to stop growing. The green, green grass of home. Never heard of it?

That nice Mr Cameroon’s friend at school, Mr Gorse, could learn a trick or two from the Welsh education system. The Welsh combine learning to drive with learning a foreign language. Multi-tasking in lifelong learning! Is that clever Blog, or is that clever? As the Welshes drive along their roads, the English equivalent word is explained to them on all the road signs. It is the same in shops; the Welsh shoppers are told what the English word is for each item. I suppose that is why most of them speak that sort of pigeon English, enough to make themselves understood to the jonhny foreigners without getting their feathers ruffled.

 They do have a great many bridleways, I suppose the natives still use them for their packhorses when the villagers trade with each other. Steep to trudge up and a bit dodgy to trudge down … gives you shin soreness after a couple of days!!!

Marathon tip for you Blog … remember you heard it first here, tomorrow you can read it in one of those running magazines things but never will it be recommended by one of those full arm badges whollhas.        TIP=> If you get shin soreness Blog, in one or both legs, usually caused by unaccustomed downhill running, buy yourself a couple of elasticated ankle socks from the chemists, the very tight elasticated supports. Used these on your shins!!!!!!!! Not your ankles!!!!!!!!!! Pull them up and over the ankle until they are all used around the calf and shin. Tight .. yes. TIGHT. Keep these in place all day. Only jog on grass for a couple of days to give the muscle membrane chance to knit back onto the bone, for it was the vibration of down-hill impact that caused the periosteum  to become slightly detached from the bone which is causing the injury problem. DON’T keep the socklets on when you go to bed [cramp and circulation restriction]. And watch for swelling in the feet caused by the tight bandages. Don’t be conned into the usual use of those pathetic elasticated bandages for support, they are not tight enough. In simple terms the tight ankle socks are helping quicken the re-sticking process of the flesh and bone …... cough up quids to see these blokes who give you a quick rub down if you don’t believe me Blog. It’s your quids and weeks of appointments rather than my three day cure. Please yourself Blog. Sustificutes are impressive when framed and hung on the wall? But do not forget where you first heard this advice at a cost of no quids!!

My latest quids making scheme Blog, is to start up an export business to Wales. I am unsure whether to buy a fleet of lorries to trans ship the goods or hire out the required number of lorries in case the Welshies are short of cash in these hard Financial Times. I am going to crate up thousands and thousands of vowels. They should sell like hot cakes. If you have ever been to Wales Blog, you will realise how short they are of all five vowels. Vowels are a scarce commodity. Rather than send all five at once, I thought I would test out the market, dip my toe in the water, see what the demand is, so to speak. So I thought I would send a few bundles of I.O.Us to gauge what response I get. And the really clever part of this scheme is that, for the return journey, I will fill the lorries up with bags of local ‘L’s. The Welshies have millions of the things. Whenever they see a word, they dash up and slap an extra ‘L’ on it. It’s a nationall complllaint, I don’t think they can help it!! In fact, I don’t think that they even reallllise that they are doing it. The only downside to this scheme is that I might have a helluva time getting them across the border, passed the customs officers; especially if someone leeks to the authorities what I am trying to do. It is not unusual for certain Welshies to sing to the authorities over such matters, some boy from nowhere wanting to make a name for himself.

                                                               Colin

Marathon Training Tips no. 3

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 124:- Place in order of age – old, older, oldest and Dorian Grey.

 Dear Blog,

                  Make yourself a mug of coffee, find a comfortable chair, sit back, close your eyes and picture the scene ………………

                    Oh look at all those runners jogging single file on that narrow country path, next to the plough …. You can run on the plough Blog. Well done. And when you improve, try doing it in heavy shoes / boots …

               Oh look at all those runners jogging in their light trainers so that it is nice and easy …. You can run in your heaviest trainers Blog. Well done.

         Oh look at all those runners running up a hill and jogging back down …. You can run up the hill Blog, but when you get to the top, carry on for another 25 yards (25 metres to you Blog). Well done.

  Oh look at all those runners running up a hill and jogging back down …. You can run up the hill Blog, but when you get to the top, do a set of jack jumps / star jumps / etc., a different set of 10 after each effort …now that is oxygen debt. Well done.

Oh look at all those runners stripped out to shorts and vest for a burn up …. You can run keep your track suit on Blog, but when you get used to a bit of sweat, put your wet suit on instead. (25 metres to you Blog). Well done.

Oh look at all those runners running on the tarmac paths around the park with that nicely mown grass alongside. …. You can run on the grass Blog.  Well done.

Oh look at all those runners running on the tarmac paths along the main road with that nice grass  verge alongside. …. You can run on the verge Blog.  Well done.

Oh look at all those nice fresh runners running reps on the track in the evening …. You can run an early morning run Blog. No you do not go straight out when you get out of bed. Give yourself a bit of time first to wake up (a nice cup of black tea).

Oh look at all those runners running carrying a recovery drink while they train, taking sips now and again. Chuck the bottle away Blog. Go thirsty. Adaptation is the name of the game.  Well done.

 Oh look at all those runners running on the tarmac paths around the city in the dark with only the street lights for illumination. Pity you cannot see them in their dark kit. Get a high viz vest Blog and live to see another day.  Well done.

Oh look at all those runners running on the tarmac paths around the city in the dark with only the street lights for illumination. Pity you cannot see them in their dark kit. Get a high viz vest Blog and live to see another day.  Try running on unlit country roads when the moon is full. You stand out like a sore thumb for the motorists. Doubly safe … you - high viz vest - car head lights. Well done.

                                    Oh look at all those runners running on a cold winter’s night with their gloves on. Wonder what they do when they get hot and sweaty? Wonder what they do when they get cold again. And the gloves are so expensive as well. And they wear out so quickly as well. And you forget where you put them as well. …. Get an old pair of socks Blog. Cut out the toe. Warm – cheap – and they roll up / down your arm when you get hot / cold.  Well done.

                      Oh look at all those runners running sitting around drinking coffee and gossiping or watching their desk TVs. They haven’t the time to train at lunchtimes ….. Wear fresh clean kit under your shirt and tie when you dress in the morning Blog; prepare for a quick lunch time strip and run, with a fresh clean set of kit for when you finish, to wear underneath your shirt and tie in the afternoon Blog.  Well done.

            Oh look at all those runners, always running in a group or with a friend or two. All sessions together …. Do a Garbo …. run / train by yourself Blog and then a race becomes nice and special. Something to look forward to. Well done. [Not that Greta used to run / train as far as is known!!!]

   Oh look at all those runners spending those hours and their non-working time travelling to meet other runners at the track / gym / running club HQ. No time to do anything else. Life is so boring … run to and from work Blog. There is always a park / grass if you want to stop off to do a few efforts. An hour or so after finishing work, you have the whole evening free to do lots of other things. Life is not boring at all Blog. Well done.

Oh look, it is all so bleeding obvious Blog.  Well done.

                                                            Colin

Brose Warwick University Cross Country Relays real results, October 27th 2012

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 123:- Place in order of ‘Slow’, ‘Slower’, ‘Slowest’ and ‘You have got to be joking’.

                                Sociological comment for you to mull over Blog.

Today was the Brose sponsored Warwick University Cross Country Relays. Students and local teams came, university student and local teams ran, university runners and local athletes went to the presentation and went home. The course was set out using Coventry Godiva stakes etc., ditto was collected in again, everything was organised well and NO litter was left. No fuss. No bother. Compare that with the mess left by the Coventry Half Marathon two weeks ago. Compare with the rubbish left by athletic clubs after cross country league races. Compare with the piles of rubbish left after each football match on the local parks each weekend. So well done Warwick University. It is only thanks to mother Gaia and not the city council or the Coventry council hired organisers that the mess on the course is becoming less obtrusive as the wind and the rain and the mud and the grass slowly cover over the race debris.

A similar comparison was observed at the Olympics and the Paralympics. For the former we stayed on a temporary site on a local football club’s pitches. A feeling of tolerance pervaded. You are here with your tent for a couple of weeks so give us your money and you will watch this channel on TV Ya? Security? What security? For the latter we stayed on a temporary site on a local rugby club’s pitches. A feeling of welcome, come to the bar-b-q, which TV channels do you wish to watch, security on the gate 24 / 7 with a pleasant greeting. Is that interesting Blog, or is that interesting.

A further comparison … Go to a club organised race, cross country or road …. Couple of hundred competitors, pleasant, post-race awards, tea and cakes for club funds, reasonable entry fee, no goody bag full of rubbish. Go to a commercial cum council organised race …. Thousands on the start line, take out a mortgage to cover the cost of entry, scratch your eyes out buddy, who gives a damn about where you are sick post-race, use your goody bag if you wish, it’s full of crap already!

And so the world goes round and round. Would you stop it please Blog, I want to get off.

                                   Colin

Was I correct or was I correst??

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 123:- Everyone knows this iconic picture of Bannister breaking the four minute barrier, but have a Bash at guessing the name of the official crouched down with the pipe in his mouth and Pear into the past to name the Godiva athlete who competed on that night!!

 Dear Blog,

            Can you believe that the local council, Coventry, have been given £6.4m for cycle  paths … how many miles is that??? Now, here is the conspiracy theory. Will they use it to repair / resurface the bits of the potholed roads which the cyclists use or ….. When the council was given a great wad of quids from the government for the development of the North East of the city, to improve some of the brown fields sites for housing etc., etc., some of the cash, £90,000, but I could be wrong, was diverted to the Coventry Half Marathon promotion over three years on the grounds that a given percentage of entrants was from the North East of the city and the half marathon provided them with the opportunity to improve their health by jogging 13 odd miles. Is that stretching a point or is that stretching a point??? Now to continue in the same vein …  a little drunken dickie bird suggested that the council were going to use a large wad of quids of the £6.4m to complete the city section of the cycle path between Nuneaton and Leamington which just happens to follow the same route as the  route proposed in the year 2000 for the rapid transit system between said Nuneaton and Leamington which was not considered financially feasible when the credit crunch kicked in. Interesting or interesting??? Is that stretching a point or is that stretching a point???

Did I tell you Blog, that the Olympic legacy would involve the athletics sports sponsors losing interest after the Games in one of my letters to you about five or six months ago? Was I correct or was I correct??? Check it out!! Did I tell you Blog, that the Olympic legacy would involve the athletics top coaches losing interest after the Games and going elsewhere in one of my letters to you Blog about five or six months ago? Was I correct or was I correct??? Check it out!!! Did I tell you Blog, that the Olympic legacy would involve the athletics being lumbered with the sports financial problems after the Games in one of my letters to you about five or six months ago? Was I correct or was I correct??? Check it out!!!! Did I tell you Blog, that the Olympic legacy would involve the sports having problems with volunteers losing interest after the Games in one of my letters to you about five or six months ago? Was I correct or was I correct??? Check it out!!!!! Did I tell you Blog, that the Olympic legacy would involve athletics not being able to cope with the influx of keen youngsters after the Games in one of my letters to you Blog about five or six months ago? Was I correct or was I correct … well I am not sure but watch this space!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Colin

Warwick University Cross Country Relays October 27th 2012 RESULTS

Dear Blog,

           You can believe it or not, but here is the result of next Saturday’s Warwick University Cross Country Relays held on October 27th 2012. We decided to enter the winning mixed team of two men and two women, a mixture of experience and inexperience; Justin and Andy were the experienced team runners, Anita and Emma had never run before, not so much as a walk in the park. I was acting Team Manager. With a little more experience in that role, I expect to be appointed as the real McCoy next year. We called ourselves God’s Fourth ‘A’ Harriers Team which we thought was rather a clever play on the name Godiva Harriers. You would have thought all these 4 A* ‘A’ level type undergraduates would have got the pun straight away, but none of them seemed to understand. Makes you realise that that nice Mr Cameroon’s Minister of Education, Mr Gore, has a point when he says that more of these undergraduate types should either go to Public School like what he did, or go out and sign on the dole; stop lazing about in Halls of Residence, waiting for three years to pass. So with our mix of athletic background, it meant God’s Fourth ‘A’ Harriers Team was not regarded by the other 34 teams as much of a serious threat, but how wrong could they be; much to their chagrin, we finished close up in 33rd place. Of the 34 teams to start, all but one finished.

So October 27th 2012, saw Anita Fold toe the line for us for the first leg around the University of Warwick’s sport’s field. She got off to a cracking start, jumping straight into the lead by opening up a yawning gap of one yard (one metre to you Blog) in the first three. But then the rest of the field started to peg her back. The rest as they say is history … well actually it isn’t, because the race hasn’t happened yet. She will trail in last.

In no way discouraged, our next runner, Justin Case, grabbed the baton from her and tore off after the distant runners in the full knowledge that he would run well. Tomorrow, he fell down the stairs at home after a drinking session and broke his leg. He will have to go to hospital to have his right leg put in plaster. So, he did a remarkable job in the circumstances, never once complaining about his crutches getting sucked down into the mud. However, the Loughborough ‘D’ team will lodge a complaint about our second stage runner receiving assistance but the race referee will blow his whistle and he kick the Loughborough racers out.

It has to be admitted that our third stage runner, Andy Mann, has a personal hygiene problem. Like every true athlete, after a training session, rather than consign his kit to the wash basket for the laundry, he prefers to hang it out to dry, to be reused, even if damp, over and over and over and over again. Come the time that he is unable to catch his kit, when he chases it around the room before a session, he will admit to having to use a fresh set of shorts and vest, a change might be needed. The downside of Andy’s personal hygiene problems is that he has to train and race by himself. He says he is going to record his experiences in an autobiography called ‘The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner’, but I told him that that had already been done and John Le Carre had received a Book Prize for it. Andy has entered next year’s London Marathon. Give him a cheer; he will be easy to spot amongst the 30,000 runners. Although the streets will be packed with competitors, Andy, as usual, will be running in his own little bit of personal space. There will be runners to the left of him, runners to the right of him, runners in front of him, his not to reason why all the world are giving him a wide berth.   

So Andy clawed his way back through the field, a quick spurt here a quick spurt there, each time catching a runner, each time, the caught competitor having to give way having suddenly encountered breathing difficulties with a strange smell that pervaded the course. The crowd around the finishing line were going wild when Andy stormed up the home straight for the penultimate time having unbelievably caught up thirty three places to thrust God’s Fourth ‘A’ Harriers Team into an almost unassailable lead. Remember all this is taking place next Saturday so anything is possible. Anything.

Justin Time took off for us on the penultimate stint of 1234 metres. Team talk in the four days before we won, concluded that this leg should be used to lift the I.Q. level of performance of the quartet and show the Warwick University students a thing or two. As Justin has got a ‘D star’ in woodwork in his G.C.S.E., he was the obvious man who was up for the task; especially as he would have got a straight ‘C’ grade had it not been for him chipping too much off the old block of wood from which he was carving a swordfish. His chisel slipped at a most inopportune moment. None of the parents attending his school’s end of term display of pupils work had ever seen a gold fish with a walking stick before. Something of a talking point and part of the reason he was able to successfully land a job in the local fish and chip shop after leaving school. Suffice to say that Justin kept us going in the right direction in the team competition and victory was ours for the taking. The newspaper report had been written and the copy filed, the presses were rolling. Eat your heart out Press Baron, Mr Rupert Bear.

It was left to Emma Dale to run the glory leg for us. Emma, bless her, suffers from Directional Misfunctional Disorder. She tries not to let it show. She is very brave about it. Her home address tattooed on her forehead in no way causes her to be embarrassed. So coupled with never having run before, and her DMD, it was no surprise to her team mates that she set off in the wrong direction, back down the home straight thereby conceding eleven places before we could turn her round and point her onto the correct route. Another four places were lost when she saw her mother in the crowd and went over for a chat. Six more places went down the tubes as she lost valuable time by signing autographs for her mother’s friends. This stoppage clearly disorientated her because she then headed back towards the start, Anita just managing to turn her around before the Vice Chancellor awarded her the winning team trophy. To avoid further embarrassment to our hoists, Anita, Andy, Justin and myself decided we would have to run with her all the way round as we did not want her trotting off into the sunset, not to be found by the police before October 25th thereby missing the start and throwing the whole of this report of our victory into total disbelief. The official has now made a full recovery from the hypothermia which he caught hanging about in the past, waiting for us to finish.

So the result of the Warwick University’s Cross Country Relays to be promoted next Saturday (October 27th 2012) showed that the truth was really stranger than fiction. Up the God’s Fourth ‘A’ Harriers Team of Anita Fold, Andy Mann, Justin case, Emma Dale and acting Team Manager Tom B. Loggone.

                                                   Colin

Not the 2012 Coventry Half Marathon again??

Dear Blog,

             I don’t often get it wrong Blog … well, I don’t think I have ever got it wrong Blog. OK. An item in my last letter to you maybe. So unlike that nice Mr Cameroon’s friend, Mr Bike Michael, I’ll say sorry. Sorry to the Warwick University. I told you last week about all these black plastic fences that the ground staff of the University has put up here there and everywhere and I thought it was a part of the University’s Discrimination Policy against the Canada Geese for their habit of leaving piles of droppings and a muddy mess around the Campus. Well I was WRONG, WRONG with a capital ‘R’. The truth is that the black plastic fencing that the University of Warwick have erected here, there and everywhere is the result of the Uni getting a grant from that nice Mr Cameroon to set aside some of the Uni land to introduce a selection of protected species of wild life to new areas … so along with bugs, various creepie crawlies, there is about to be an influx of Greater Crested Grebes!! I wonder how they feel about being sent to Coventry? What about the Lesser??? Seems to be something of a case of discrimination me’thinks??? What’s sauce for the Canada Goose is sauce the Greater and Lesser Grebes surely????

A couple of days back, the day after the Half Marathon race, I went for an early morning trudge around the ‘top’ part of the Coventry Half Marathon course which passes the bottom of my estate driveway …. Well Blog. What a mess the joggers left. Bottles here, bottles there, bottles everywhere. I checked to see if anyone had left a message inside one of them, but not a single word! Recovery drink this, recovery drink that, isotonic here, Tauk, Tauk there. Used, half used, hardly used strips of jels. I hope the organisers are going to clean up all the litter. It is not a Council responsibility. It is the organisers who ‘should leave the course in the state they found it’ as part of getting their licence to organise the race!!! I told you  last week that the Coventry Council had gone around the course spraying the holes in the road with red spray marking, in preparation for in filling all pot holes with tar macadam as part of Health and Safety measures prior to the race so there would be no accident from which a mega insurance claim against the Council could be made. Well. Because the rain did rain for a couple of weeks before the Coventry Half Marathon, the weather was unsuitable to do the tarmacking. And guess what?? When, I went for an early morning trudge around the ‘top’ part of the Coventry Half Marathon course which passes the bottom of my estate driveway in the morning after the race, a tarmac gang were out in filling with tar macadam all the pot holes which were marked with red spray paint. Nice little bonus payment for early morning work?? The tarmacking machine must have been generating a couple of thousand degrees centigrade to bond the roadway patch; I fail to see how the council workmen could do the work in the drizzle the day after the race and the council workmen could not do the work in the showers in the days before the race. Two thousand degrees centigrade means that there aint not much water about. I wonder if someone tripped up in the race??? A road patch up pre emptive job??? I must say the workmen looked cool. One workman sat on a stool watching the mini tarmac machine doing its job. One workman leaning on his brush, checking on the workman sat on the stool watching the mini tarmac machine doing its job. And the other one you ask Blog. He was doing a REALLY good job, sweeping and cleaning out the truck they were using! I wonder if they have a vacancy on their gang? I am not doing too much between trudges!!

Tomorrow I shall go for an early morning trudge around the ‘top’ part of the Coventry Half Marathon course which passes the bottom of my estate driveway to see if all the race droppings have been uplifted. If not I shall go for an early afternoon walk around the ‘top’ part of the Coventry Half Marathon course which passes the bottom of my estate driveway with a plastic sack and collect all the race droppings that have not been up lifted.

An observation:- if the council refuse department could clear all the rubbish from the field gateways (plastic pond here, kids toys everywhere, smashed kitchen units there) which had been dumped in the three days before the Coventry Half Marathon Race, why couldn’t they be bothered to clean up all the plastic bags full of rubbish that had been dumped in the ditches around the ‘top’ part of the Coventry Half Marathon course which passes the bottom of the estate driveway? Presumably the rubbish in the gateways would have been seen clearly by the international visitors jogging in the race, whereas the ditch rubbish was less visible to the international joggers? Perhaps the Race Organisers are going to clear all those plastic bags in the ditches away at the same time as they clear all the rubbish that had been left by the half marathon joggers???????????????

                                                   Colin

Coventry Half Marathon 2012 results ... take 2

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 122:- Who won the Rugby ‘10’ 2012? What was his time? Which Godiva runner came third in the Warwickshire Men’s County ‘10’ mile Championships 2012? Which Godiva runner came third in the Warwickshire Women’s County ‘10’ mile Championships 2012?

Dear Blog,

           You didn’t warn them did you? … what sort of a mate are you? I bet the poor suckers who entered the Coventry Half Marathon and won those invaluable prizes are taking your name to a place where the sun don’t shine. After sweating for 13 miles around the streets of Coventry, I am told that the first prize was £30, second £20 and third £10; after paying an entry fee of £25~£30 you have just got to laugh haven’t you? And a further joke is that the prizes were in the form of a voucher for a sports store that is not yet opened!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who writes this script??? That’s the price a plonker pays for entering a race organised by a private company who organise a race for plonkers to help pay their rent and pay for their holiday in the sun while the plonkers are slogging away training in the snow so they can pay another expensive entry fee to win another invaluable prize??? Laugh a minute. What mugs??? Club runners as well    …you would think they would be more street wise? Or you would think their coach would be more street wise??? Races organised by companies on behalf of councils don’t do it for altruistic reasons?? They do it for QUIDS. If the runners feel hard done by, look in the mirror to see who is to blame … or look at your coach to see who is to blame. With the increase of these private companies running sporting events, some may I add without insurance and / or medical cover, an accident is waiting to happen. A tragic accident is waiting to happen. Blog, you heard it first here??

And of course, there was a perfectly acceptable alternative race over 10 miles just down the road from Coventry at Rugby. Well organised by an athletic club with roads marshalled, first aid in attendance, a nice warm club house for the presentation with cakes and drinks after the race … and here’s another plonker joke, the prizes were for each veteran age group, the over 65 year age group winner probably winning more than the Coventry Half Marathon first placer … and the prizes were not silly sports shop vouchers whose face value is diluted when you try to buy goods from the shop, having to add a many quids to the voucher to obtain something ticketed at top whack, something which you could have picked up cheaper in the local sports store anyway. No, the Rugby ‘10’ prizes were quids. The stuff you take to a shop and get what you pay for at the price that is the same anywhere else if you were to buy same said goods. And at Rugby, you would get quids in change from the entry fee if you use a £10 note to enter!!!

Another thought .… don’t these club type moaning runners do any research about the race they enter; look at previous years’ races for results and comments; look to see what prizes are on offer; look to see how many prizes are on offer; look to find the value of the prizes on offer; look to see what kind of a course it is? And don’t the coaches of these club type moaning runners do any research about the race their runner is entering; look at previous years’ races for results and comments; look to see what prizes are on offer; look to see how many prizes are on offer; find the value of prizes on offer; look to see what kind of a course it is? Is it any wonder that distance running in this country is in the state it is?? Perspiration, inspiration, preparation, investigation or PIPI as a certain international used to scream only half in jest. At least I think that was the order … it was a long time ago Blog.

When I ran a distance race, there was no way was I going to knacker myself without cause or reason!!! I had a sniff once, many years ago, that a certain well-known runner was entering a certain race. I wanted a good time in preparation for a marathon I had around the corner, and was running well, so I asked the organiser, whom I knew, if I could have a late entry, promising him a good race in return. It was at a time when you didn’t have to put your name down for a race three years before you wanted to run. He concurred with my request. He had laid on pace makers for this well-known runner who happened to be the flavour of the month. This well-known runner who happened to be the flavour of the month didn’t show but it was still a cracking race; I think I must have got a personal best at one mile, two miles, three miles, 5000m, and four miles before I got rid of the field. I was given the well-known runner who happened to be the flavour of the month’s valuable prize. I was also offered the well-known runner who happened to be the flavour of the month’s even more valuable expenses. I told the organiser to use the well-known runner who happened to be the flavour of the month’s even more valuable expenses to treat the race helpers to a meal. He said thank you and he said he would invite me to the club’s Annual Dinner. Unfortunately he didn’t say which year!!! Still it is something for me and my wife to look forward to!!!

                   Colin

P.S. The third Marathon Training Tip is on it’s way soon Blog. Are you excited?? So excited??? Have some Jam.

Coventry Half Marathon 2012 results

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 121:- cf. below …. Where is Carthorse Hill?? What year did the AAA Marathon Championship runners have to run up the hill at least twice?? Who was the silver medallist?? Twenty years before that race, another marathon used the same course. Who was the most famous runner to run in that race, a name many people will be familiar with today … if I gave you a clue Blog, it would have to be in code!!

Dear Blog,

            What a weekend. Non stop. National Road Relays on Saturday and the Rugby ‘10’ on Sunday. Quite knackered from all my support trudging’

The organisers of the National Road Relay at Clumber Park on Saturday have to be congratulated for a job well done. The ‘clubs’ and ‘club members’ came up trumps when the governing body threw in the towel with no effort when faced with a little local difficulty at Sutton Park; they seemed happy to let the chances afforded by the staging of the such a race go to waste. Clumber Park was pleasant in the sunshine but I am not too sure what it would be like in the wet with all the rain falling off the many trees on the course … the torrential rain that fell in the late afternoon held off until just after the event had concluded. Was that good timing Blog, or was that good timing?? After forty years of visiting Sutton Park four times per year for the National Road Relays, it was very nice to watch the event somewhere completely fresh!!! I think it worth commenting also, that during all those many years, never has there been a car parking fee charged. I know our sport is run (no pun intended) on the cheap, but I do think that no one would mind coughing up a few quids to park for the afternoon… the income could be used to offer an incentive to the winning club/s?? The fastest leg runners?? Me, for long service watching??

On Sunday, the same compliments should be said for the officials at the Rugby ‘10’. Both events were run for the sport by unpaid volunteers for the benefit of the sport, both well organised, both events enjoyed by all. Would that the same could be said about the Coventry Half Marathon held on the same day!! The Rugby ‘10’ (see quiz!!) had some reasonably fast times considering the tough course. Three women under 64 minutes is good in any ‘10’ these days, but to have three with the inclines around Barby, is impressive. To have the use of the clubroom at the local cricket club with refreshments etc. and a speedy results service goes to show that athletics at club level is alive, sociable and well. It amply illustrates how the commercial organised race has raped the sport, even sadder to realise that the vast majority of mega race participants are unaware of the existence of races such as ‘Rugby’ or the ‘National Road Relays’ where there is not a goody bag in sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coventry Half Marathon:- The Lane was BLOCKED by barriers at 9am when I left home on Sunday bound for the Rugby ‘10’. I had to stop the car, let my daughter shift the barriers aside to allow the car to pass  and then put them back after the car had passed through, all the while the marshal stood and watched with his hands in his pockets ‘… nothing to do with me mate …’ The bloody race had not even started and was eight miles down the road any way. Bye gum, the race organisers do a good job in drumming up public goodwill!!! Race numbers in the race were down again this year which was surprising considering the excellent weather. The standard was appallingly low with only six runners breaking 80 minutes. I believe the present contract with the race organisers and the council comes to an end this year? I could be wrong. If correct, let us seriously hope that the Coventry Council take this opportunity to grab the race by the scruff of the neck and have a fresh start, learning from all the mistakes of the last few years and build the event into a race the city can be proud of. It has been upsetting for me to watch the chances afforded by the staging of such a race go to waste. The Council should get an interested party who knows what they are doing and someone who is interested in road running rather than someone who is interested in making a fast buck at the expense of the rate payers of the city. I don’t suggest the present organisers fall into that category. I suppose the counter argument would be that everyone was happy on the day, they got their t-shirt, they got their goody bag, so why bother striving for excellence when mediocrity will suffice?? After all, athletics seems to be all about participation rather than competition. Footfall, sod all, free for all rather than stand tall and be counted for the benefit of all.

And talking about the Coventry Half Marathon …. Having my breakfast about 8:15 a.m. before leaving home for the Rugby ‘10’, I listened to the church service from Coventry Cathedral on the radio. I was surprised to hear the service being led by an old club mate … and was even more surprised to see that he had finished in the first 175 in the Coventry Half Marathon just shy of 98 minutes!!!!!!! Did he have his kit on underneath his surplice? After the service, did he jog down from the Coventry Cathedral to the Transport Museum where the race started, for his warm up?? I hope he didn’t slurp too much of the Communion wine???? If he hadn’t have had to stand around in the pulpit for an hour or so, would he have broken 95 minutes????

                                    Colin

Oh yes Blog ….. another poem by Colin

A Trudger goes out for his run

In singlet and shorts in the sun

Trips over his lace

Falls flat on his face

Finds running was no longer fun

Is there no genius to this man??? Sorry that should read ‘Is there no end to this man??’ Sorry I’ll try again, third time lucky; that should read ‘Is there no end to the genius of this man??’

Goosey goosey gander .....

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 120:- Which Godiva member ran in this Olympic Marathon? Easy peasey. Which one is he? Not so peasey. There is a clue in the picture if you follow my line of thought. Easy!

Dear Blog,

               Circumstances dictated that I was late trudging a couple of nights ago and was forced to go out into the dark. A slow trudge along dark unlit country lanes is far safer than my tripping up on the uneven pavements of the well-lit streets of the city. Following rain earlier in the day, the relative warm evening air was causing localised mist to form. Even in the dark and the mist, conditions are far safer on country roads especially when wearing a reflective vest. The combination of dark and mist has a curious effect which you may or may not have noticed Blog. Without mist, when a car approaches in the dark from behind, your elongated shadow shortens, speeding up as the vehicle gets closer. The running action increases, giving a flattering impression of a quality tempo run rather than the actual plod!! The shadow finally makes a few desperate quick steps backwards as the car passes. Have you noticed the difference a mist makes Blog? First thing you are aware of Blog, is the beautiful halo of a myriad of reflective sparkling droplets of jewels as each tiny speck of mist splits the spectrum of the beam of approaching light. The halo becomes a sphere, you and your shadow are cocooned together, both quite happy to jog alongside each other, together reluctant to speed up from the leisurely pace. It is only in the final moments as the car passes that the shadow balloons, its sudden increase in size further highlighting the sparkling twinkling particles of mist which provided the brief pleasurable existence. Next time it is misty, or foggy, take a run in the country … you now have five months of dark nights from which to choose one, Blog.

Yesterday evening, I noticed as I went across the University campus on my daily trudge, past all the lakes, that the authorities have erected a series of metre high unbroken plastic fencing. For a couple of decades, the mess left by Canada geese around the University on all available grass and banks, and sometimes on the sports pitches, has been disgusting. All kinds of geese whether domestic or wild, are known for leaving the ground stripped bare and covered in their droppings. With the exception of Manlius, they are universally regarded as a nuisance! This summer, instead of large flocks of geese, grazing the grass out of existence, the university grounds have had very few, the birds conspicuous by their absence. Only the occasional youngster, shepherded by their half a dozen nurses, has been in evidence. I won’t tell you what I have been told the grounds men have done to discourage their presence, but I won’t be having turkey or chicken for my Christmas diner this year! And the price of a certain type of poultry meat in the local butchers has fallen, unlike the national picture where all types of meat is getting more expensive. Wonder why? I believe you can pick up a bargain buy on brand new goose down sleeping bags???

Late finishing, I had the infrequent treat of a fish and chip supper. But it’s not the same as some years back, is it Blog? Not wrapped in newspaper any more. No newspaper for the vinegar to drain into or the salt to stick to. I mention the fish and chips and newspaper for one reason only, and for one reason only. Believe it or not Blog, many years ago when news print wrapping was still widely used to keep the chips warm, I was eating my fish and chips out of my newspaper when I saw that there was a photo of me, ME, in the newspaper. Drenched in vinegar, I was staring at ME. ME was staring back at I. True Blog. Would I lie to you?? Would ME lie to you??

                                       Colin.

Another poem by Colin:-

An old man went out for a trudge,

To hurdle a gate, he misjudged.

Got jammed in the bars,

Stuck fast in the spars

And found that he just couldn’t budge.

Is there no genius to this man??? Sorry that should read ‘Is there no end to this man??’ Sorry I’ll try again, third time lucky; that should read ‘Is there no end to the genius of this man??’

                                                      

Coincidence

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 119:- Although this appeared in the ‘Graphic’ as depicting a ‘night harrier’, in the grand scheme of things what or who, were the night harriers in Coventry? And what was the unusual names of other harrier clubs in the city??

Dear Blog,

Yes my toe is sore but much, much better thanks. Trudging a OK.

In the last two weeks, you might be interested to know that I have had four enquires from around the world about former members of Coventry Godiva Harriers. Australia providing two, one of which concerned a cyclist from the running club; remember Blog, we had a harrier section (men), a women’s athletic section, a walking section (men and eventually women) and we had a cycling section (men and women). Now this particular one was of interest for several reasons, not least of which was the offer of three photographs for my ‘History of Coventry Godiva Harriers and other Athletic Clubs in the City’. I was able to supply information that another Godiva member, a female, was also a cyclist of some repute and who was the sister of the cyclist about who information was being sought!! It is worth relating that the Australians were visiting this country and wished to meet. On the appointed day of the meeting, I dropped my wife off at home after visiting the old College theatre in Coventry (thereby hangs another tale which I will recount at some future date as the visit has thrown up all kinds of unanswered questions). Getting out of the car at home she noticed on the dash board the address and name of the Australians I was going to set off to meet; they were visiting relatives in Coventry. The surname was unusual and my wife commented that the old lady who was her next door neighbour as a child had the same unusual surname. The neighbour also had an older sister who lived up the road. I commented that the cyclists who’s descendants I was about to meet, were raised in the same neighbourhood as she was. Suddenly my wife took an interest in my ‘History of Coventry Godiva Harriers and other Athletic Clubs in the City’ and remembered that she would have time to spare to come with me!! Blog is she nosey, or is she nosey?  And believe it or not her maiden name was Parker!!! Blog, I kid you not. A fat lot of information I got for my history that afternoon!!! Yakkety yak yak. The old lady who lived next to my wife as a child was the Gran of the lady from Australia and she used to visit her gran when a child, and because my wife’s mother used to pop next door to keep an eye on her, my wife and the Australian lady had met as kids and played together!!!!!!! Coincidence or coincidence Blog? ‘Small world’ as they say. And the older sister who lived up the road was the cycling aunt!!!!

Another enquiry came from Germany and concerned a former President of the club who rescued the Harriers when they were in some financial plight. He was also involved in a certain amount of anti-Semitic feeling before the war. I was able to provide information to the enquirer to help him with his forthcoming book.

Then along comes an enquiry about the club’s first record holder. The grandson was replying to a query I had sent to a running club following a little note I had read in that athletic club’s history. It was a long shot on my part, but one of those that sometimes pays off handsomely. Again, most of the information flowed from me but a couple of nuggets were unearthed for my ‘History of Coventry Godiva Harriers and other Athletic Clubs in the City’.

The fourth was from a childhood friend of one of the club’s late Olympians. I supplied a contact of living relatives.

When people refer to my ‘History of Coventry Godiva Harriers and other Athletic Clubs in the City’ and talk about a possible publication, they do not seem to appreciate the logistics and financial implications of such a venture. The potential readership would be small, with circulation strictly limited; the financial layout would be high as the appeal to a publisher of such a tome would not be attractive and it would be a case of self-financing; to hope to cover a minute part of any outlay, a high cover charge would have to be levied. Shame.

                                Colin

Clumber Park National Road Relays 2012

Photograph Quiz:

Photo number 117:- Look into your portmanteau where you store my letters Blog. You will find a photo of a marathon race where everyone was trying to determine which runner I was. Dig out the photo of the large group of marathon runners. Despite many attempts, all failed to identify which runner was yours truly. So being of a generous nature, here is another shot of the same event, which a friend has just given me. Which is me? Did I finish 1^st, 2^nd or 3^rd in the race? Which marathon race did I win six days later?

Dear Blog,

The good news that the National Road Relays are now ‘GO’. I told you in my last letter that it was possible to arrange a race at short notice, didn’t I? Been there, done it, got the sweaty shirt. It means that someone by accident or design has actually shown initiative and that there is life after the Olympic Legacy hype, and grass roots in athletics is stirring. Which is more than can be said for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An embarrassingly slow trudge for me last night, Blog. Sometimes I trudge slow but last night WAS slow, with a capital ‘S’. Blog, I kid you not. Painfully slow it was. Why you may ask Blog. I’ll tell you why.

Question:- What is the energy gained and what are the after effects of dropping a very expensive electric steam iron from a height of six feet (2 metres to you Blog)? For the purpose of this question, you may assume that the iron was not damaged on impact. You may also assume that no damaged was caused to the electric steam iron because all the kinetic energy gained by the falling electric steam iron was transferred on impact to human flesh and bone. (Newton’s Third Law on Cox’s Orange Pippins). Discuss.

Yes, Blog, yesterday I dropped my wife’s iron onto my foot. It fell unhindered from the top shelf of the storage cupboard where I allow my wife to keep her household aids, such as her sweeping brush, her beloved mop bucket, her grandmother’s dolly tub and the like. It wasn’t any old iron, it was her very expensive electric steam iron which I bought her for her birthday / Christmas / wedding anniversary combined present five years ago. I wouldn’t give you tuppence for what I said at the time. The iron was a bargain from a car boot sale. I did have to haggle quite a lot when I bought but in the end I got my way. My wife said she wanted a new iron. I told her in front of the car booter that arguing in public was not dignified and she should remember that she had promised to obey. Anyways, I dropped this electric steam iron on my big toe … not any old toe, oh no. My big toe; the one with arthritis and the bunion. What made matters worse was that while I was rolling around the floor screaming in agony from the pain and tears rolling down my face, my wife was rolling around the floor with tears rolling down her face laughing uncontrollably.

As bagman for my wife, collecting produce from the Coventry market later in the morning, I was not happy when she related my unfortunate experience to the fishman. They had a little laugh together with no word of sympathy for me. I shall have to consider purchasing my kippers from elsewhere in future. I was not happy when she related my unfortunate experience to the butcher. They had a little laugh together with no word of sympathy for me. I shall have to consider looking around to purchase my scragg ends and tripe from elsewhere in future. Neither was I happy when she related my unfortunate experience to the bakers. They had a little laugh together with no word of sympathy for me. I will not allow my wife to buy our broken biscuits from him in future. But worse of all. She went to the hickory knickery knackery stall to buy a battery for my deaf aid. The stall is run by an ex pupil of mine, clearly benefitting from the mathematics I taught her by her being able to run the stall so efficiently and, no doubt, at a huge profit of many quids, I was not happy when she related my unfortunate experience to the hickory knickery knackery lady. They had a little laugh together with no word of sympathy for me. Clearly I failed as her mathematics teacher after all. I should have set her more lines to do and put her in detention far more often. Respect???

                               Colin

P.S. I will try to take a photograph of my toe for you Blog. Multi-coloured it is! Possibly a future Quiz Question Blog???