Monday 8 April 2013

the Regency 10km Run Results April 7th 2013

Dear Blog,
        Yesterday’s Coventry Way 40 mile event was blessed with excellent weather for walking / running. It started at 6am to allow time for walkers to complete the entire circuit on the way-marked footpaths in the country side around the city of Coventry. The Tiny Tims Children’s Centre relay team sprang into action from the start / finish pub, the Queen’s Head, about three hours later. Some of the legs were disjointed and not continuous so the end timing done by the officials did not let us appear in the final results as a bona fide relay team. We did not mind this as we knew what the conditions of entry were before the start of the event and were most grateful to the organisers to allow our participation. I had the pleasure of trudging from the Common in Kenilworth to the village of Bubbenhall via the oldie worlde village of Stoneleigh, skirting around the National Agricultural Centre en route. Having trudged by myself for a couple of years it came as a great shock to the system to be accompanied on the leg by another runner, who showed no mercy to my state of fitness, claiming after the event had finished, that I had to be waited for on more than one occasion as I was struggling to keep up. All lies Blog, all lies. That is the last time I offer to take my wife for a run in the country! There were many kissing gates on this section of the route and I was rather bold and suggested to my wife that I should receive a passionate embrace at each of the kissing gates. She said nothing and I thought I caught a sly coy glance from her. I could have been mistaken. It could have been wind as she did rather have a rather large breakfast. I made my advance at the first gate, lips apuckered, but she was through and off up the next field before I could scrape the cow pat off my trainers. Playing hard to get I thought. she leapt over the next kissing gate not bothering to open the thing. Then she started a session of fast-slow running. Fast when a gate came into sight, slow while I tried to catch up as she waited on the other side of the gate, ready to take off at a goodly pace to the next stile. And so I went unkissed.
           So, as the miles ticked by, I resigned myself, passion doused, to the thoughts of what might have been. Scuttling along in front of me, I let her think that she was making the pace. On several instances during our seven mile stint, I did a few moans and groans to lull her into thinking that she had the upper hand and I was suffering from the trudge. I threw in a few coughs and gasps to make the charade even more convincing. And my piece de resistance was to slump onto the ground feigning agony and exhaustion at the changeover check point. The act must have been an Oscar winning performance because the paramedics had me on a trolley and had my leg bandaged up and had put my arm in a sling before I could say that they had chosen the wrong arm and leg!!! We did have a good laugh about it as they unwrapped me. They said that they were grateful as it was good practice and that they had nothing to do all morning and were beginning to wish they had gone to the Regency 10 km Run instead (a charity type fun run in Leamington held on the same morning). I didn’t feel it was my place to tell them that I wished they had gone there as well. Their enthusiasm for the bandaging was a bit over the top I thought.
     For the rest of the day, it was a case ferrying runners to and from different check points. Then. We all trooped along the last two miles together. The route for that particular section consisted of narrow bridleways, mud, rutted footpaths, kissing gates and stiles. My grandson was in his specially built pushchair. Designed and built by my son in law with four wheel steering and suspension, the seating can be adapted to suit any age and most disabilities. The wheels allow the buggy to easily travel across country; mud, ruts, woodland, moorland, fields and pathways all come within its compass. A hand brake is incorporated into the design as an added safety feature. Technically it is impressive indeed. It is so versatile that it would satisfy any parental requirement.
   And so we finished at the Queens Head. What a day.
   Oh yes Blog, I almost forgot. It was my wife’s birthday. As you know, I always like to do something a little different for her and spend many hours thinking of suitable presents that she can love and cherish in many years to come.
   As you know Blog, I am a bit of a poet, so the card I designed for her this year incorporated a few poetic stanzas. So she could have fond memories of this year’s birthday celebrations, besides enjoying the endless trudge around the Coventry Way Trail, I thought I would give her a little puzzle in her birthday card so she had to solve the cryptic clues to locate her no expense spared presents, hidden tantalizingly around our property ...
The verse inside her card which I gave her when she brought me my cup of tea in bed  ....
No present yet ... it’s tough on you,
To find the pressie, just solve the clue.
The first you have to have a laugh,
Simple really – it’s in the bath.
The second is a simple clue,
To find the present, look in the Loo.
Number three is easy to see,
To find the third, look in the tree.
Just look down for number four,
You’ll find it standing on the floor.
Number five, the last I bought from Blog,
By the fire, it holds a log.
        So off she went on her little search, after she had cooked my breakfast. I said she could look for her five presents and then wash the breakfast dishes.
       The silly billy thought that the reference to bath in her first clue was a pointer to the bird bath down by the orchard. She got her slippers quite wet searching amongst the long grass. [I must remind her to cut that tomorrow, it is looking untidy]. She then tried searching the bathroom upstairs to no avail. It was a bit annoying her making all that noise as I was trying to catch a nap before I got up; her banging and thudding about didn’t help me to rest. Finally I was starting to get annoyed so I hinted that she should look in our double garage, in the new bath I have stored in there. She seemed a little disappointed with the bottle of bath cleaner I had so carefully wrapped in birthday paper for her. I suspect that I had boob boobed and not bought her favourite brand.
      Now the loo hint really put her off the scent. Again I had to point her in the direction of one of my pieces of art in the kitchen garden. An old Loo planted out with flowers. I don’t think that she thought I would been as clever as to have thought of a bottle of plant food for her second gift. Oh it was so exciting watching the expressions on her face. I must say, she tried to fool me by looking a little ungrateful at times. What a little tease she is.
   She spotted the bag of peanuts for the birds almost straight away suspended as it was from a branch. As I was getting a bit thirsty, I let her have a break from her search so she could make me a mug of coffee. I thought the break would add to the excitement for her final effort.
   She nearly tripped over her fourth present. I thought I was rather clever leaving the tin of floor polish on the floor. I thought it had a certain practical symmetry, the floor polish being stood on the floor; I didn’t make it too hard to find.
     I had to explain the fifth present too her. I thought a wooden box for the wood for the fire was a pretty smart present to buy, but she seemed a little down when she knew it was her last present. The anti climax of the search I suppose. She was very emotional after that fifth gift. She broke down in tears. She said she had so looked forward to receiving a special birthday present and the presents that she had received from me were not quite what she had expected. I was so pleased that my springing so many surprises had been so successful and unexpected. I had not seen her so overcome with such tearful pleasure since I bought her a set of step ladders the Christmas before last. Blog, I kid you not, they cost me many quids. But then, she is worth it I feel. You can tell she was so grateful for the steps, because she continues to mention them to all her friends every time they bring up the subject of their presents bought for them by their husbands and / or their partners. It is her way of deflating their attempts to make my wife jealous of their tails of expensive jewellery and exotic holidays. She is very clever in that way. When she goes on about the ladders her friends realise what a wonderful considerate and thoughtful husband she has. I can hardly wait to see their faces when she tells them that I have treated her to FIVE presents for this year’s birthday.
                            Colin

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