Sunday 15 May 2011

Barefoot in the Park

Dear Blog,
      If you remember, I did mention the bare foot steeplechase last time Blog. Bare foot running was the vogue in the mid 60s, and a few of us (a very few of us) at University ran bare foot – no wonders I have to trudge so slowly now. At least the water jump water washed the blood away from the raw flesh on the sole of the feet caused by the cinder track!!! Three years ago, after a gap of 40 years, I decided to run a steeplechase again to help out my club at a Midland League race and gain some soft points, there being few ‘B’ steeple chasers. At the start of the race, my intention had been run at the rear of the field and to step on top of each barrier, being 40 years short of hurdling practice. If I could pick off the other two ‘B’ runners, that would count as an added bonus to the 6 points which were already in the bag.  I don’t like wearing glasses and only wear mine when necessary. I never wear them to run in. Coming up to the first barrier after the initial 100 metre start, it quickly dawned on me that I was unable to focus clearly on the top of the first hurdle. As the barrier bore down the straight towards me at an alarming speed, some important decisions had to be made. It now appeared likely that I might have to borrow the grounds man ladder to negotiate the obstacle in front of me. But he was no where to be seen. These workmen are never around when they are wanted. Praying to any deity that might be taking a passing interest in my plight, I duly arrived at said barrier lacking enough speed to carry me over! I gained the top but then the lack of forward momentum, as any one who has studied the more complex mathematical theory of motion will tell you, meant I had to return from whence I came. I had to retrace my steps back down the home straight to have another crack at the problem. This drama was unfolding at the end of the home straight where all the athletes and spectators were seated in the stand and on the grassy bank. They began to take an interest in the proceedings. I did appreciate their support when I finally struggled over. It was rather remiss of both the timekeepers and place judges not to pay attention to my progress. They were so intent of recording the finishing times that they totally missed my over taking one of the other ‘B’ runners. Although we were a couple of laps behind the field, I was rather impressed with the way I dashed passed him. I think the crowd failed to see my effort as well. Coming up to the bell, the bell didn’t toll for me but for whom it did toll? It did ring out loud and clear for last competitor now some 40 yards behind. I flew over the final water jump in style and Hemery would have been proud of my final hurdle. The lap counter was still showing ‘1’ as I sprinted for the finish. ‘One lap to go’ shouted the official as I crossed the finish line.You are taking the piss, mate???  I did mentally question the sanity of the man, but those 7 points might prove decisive for the club’s promotion hopes at the end of the season. Now was not the time to enter into discussion about distance travelled, hurdles jumped, waters swam.  I must have miscounted the laps in my excitement at participating in my old event again? I took off like a proverbial startled tortoise to complete my final final lap. Imagine my surprise when, on entering the straight for the last time I was cheered on by the athlete I had caught and passed several minutes earlier; surely he hadn’t thrown in the towel so late in the race? The WHIMP. What sort of athlete are we producing now a days? Keino wouldn’t have jacked it in. Before I could stop waving my arms in triumph at the finish, the chief judge came over to me. ‘Sorry Colin, we miscounted. You did one lap too many.’!!! I kid you not, dear Blog. I would not joke about such a thing. I tried to hug him with the lap counter stand, but he rejected my advance and moved away at the last moment. If you are in any doubt, go to the Midland Counties Office in Solihull and consult the results of the meeting. It’s there for all to see in black and white stained with my sweat.
Will post a comment about a race which has just passed my front door when I have had my hot cocoa and complain.
Colin
PS just had another three donations for my charity Tiny Tims Children’s Charity and Newlife.    

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