Photograph Quiz.
Photo no. 141:- In this photo of a 20 mile walk team, why is the man on the right so vitally important to my ‘History of Coventry Godiva Harriers and Other Clubs in the City’? What was his name? What was the event? What was the result for club members?
Dear Blog,
I have just returned from the Massey Ferguson 5 mile road race held around the pathways of Coventry’s War Memorial Park; a race promoted in the old fashioned manner of you pays your entry fee, you race in the well marshaled race and you get the results. No fanfares, no bunting or airs about being the Midlands answer to some highly sponsored, highly promoted, highly reported, highly priced-entry type race organised by some commercial outfit for the benefit of some commercial outfit screaming that mega quids have been raised for charity, giving the impression that some commercial outfit organising the race had raised the said mega quids when in reality, the commercial outfit had buggerall to do with raising funds as part of the race organisation; it was the sucker runners in the race who had done the fund raising. So this morning’s event was a genuine low key club race organised for the actual benefit of the club runner and jogger. [Although they did give a t-shirt and goody bag ….]. Don’t you think that is a horrible word Blog. ‘Goody Bag’. Makes the hairs on the back of my neck hackle in protest … like ‘bogof’ and ‘for free’. The point I am desperately struggling to make Blog, is that something genuine happened this morning in our sport which is to be commended as our sport has now turned into ‘a grabbit happening’, as they say in posh circles; or so I am told but as I don’t go around in posh circles, I do not know if they say that or they do not say that.
It was a bit chilly out there this morning, froze the nose drippings, it did. My younger daughter ran home after the race and the presentation. I have told you before Blog but …. This reminded me of a time when I was at the Pink Panther University and I was persuaded to jog over to a local 10 mile road race which was about 5 miles away as it would be good preparation for my debut marathon race. The idea sounded good. So two of us jogged over and raced. I came second to Jimmy Alder. Now jogging to a race is all well and good. Racing hard in the race to which you have jogged is all well and good. BUT. In those days of yore, a long, long time ago, for prizes you didn’t get vouchers for a measly amount as a small part payment for a pair of shoes at the local sports shop. No you got prizes. Real expensive prizes. Pot hunting worth prizes. And so it came to pass in those days of yore, a long, long time ago that I won a canteen of cutlery. A heavy canteen of cutlery. A canteen of cutlery that had knives, forks and spoons for courses of food I had never heard of!! When it was suggested that I jog over to this local 10 mile road race which was about 5 miles away as it would be good preparation for my debut marathon race, the idea did sound good. Too good to be true in fact. But I never remember any mention of the 5 miles BACK. Nor was there any mention of incorporating a weights session on the way back either! FACT:- I don’t know whether you know Blog, but it was once the fashion to carry a weight in both hands as you trained. True. Would I lie to you Blog? I remember a few of the old runners when I started running actually carrying a small weight in the palm of each hand. What they did not do however, was carry a bloody heavy canteen of cutlery full of some many knives and forks and spoons that would be an ample supply for the next London Lord Mayors Banquet and still have enough left over for my fish and chip supper. Sorry Blog, I now do lie to you. Soz. Of course we don’t use a knife and fork when we have fish and chips. Never have. Never will. No way! It is a finger job … which is spoiled in this day and age by the lack of a newspaper wrapping to keep said fish and chips warm. I think I told you Blog, that I once had my fish and chips wrapped in a sheet of newspaper on which was printed my photograph. I was most upset. I went back to the shop and had it out with the people behind the counter. Did they not have respect for the achievements and exploits of one of Coventry’s more famous sportsmen? The chippie ask me who I thought I was? I thought he was trying to imply that I was being rude and that I was acting above my station in life, but he was genuinely asking me who I thought I was as he had never heard of me. Can you believe that Blog. I asked him if he ever read his newspapers before he used them for wrapping paper? He said that if he had time, he would sometimes look at the obituaries column to check if he had died. Comedian, I don’t think so. Who did he think I was? Stupid or somrething? No one looks at the obituaries column to see if they had died because they would be dead, of course. Silly man. I took my fishy custom elsewhere after that I can tell. Who did I think I was indeed? Any way, back to this story about the blessed canteen of cutlery. I had to carry it back single handed. I don’t mean carried it back by myself as my fellow competitor was returning the jog back to the Pink Panther University with me because he worked there. I meant, I had to carry it back for 5 miles by myself because he refused to take turns. Between you and me Blog, I reckon he refused to help me because he was jealous of my success. He was envious of the fact that I had won the heavy canteen of cutlery stuffed full of knives and forks and spoons and he had won nothing.
Even back then in the days of yore a long, long time ago, I used to recover from races by the next day, or two days maximum. But it took me a whole week to recover from this race. I could hardly take notes in lectures because my arm hurt so much from carrying that heavy canteen of cutlery with its knives for this and its forks for that and the spoons for others and other others for others that I didn’t know about ………….. and here’s the best bit Blog. I still have that heavy canteen of cutlery in my loft, unopened but covered in long since dried sweat which, over the intervening years, has grown some remarkedly different strains of bacteria. Would I lie to you Blog? And guess what Blog, even more strange … last year the bright spark who suggested we jog to the 10 mile road race but forgot to tell me about the 5 mile jog back was given an Honoury Doctorate by Warwick University for his work on polymers. And do you know what Blog? He did not invite me to his investiture! Can you believe that? I reckon he still holds a grudge, don’t you Blog????
And now a question for you Blog. Did not that improve in the telling, or did not that improve in the retelling??
Colin
No comments:
Post a Comment